It's Not Love
by xotakux2002x
Summary: sasori's called the Red Demon for a good reason. yet deidara insists on challenging the redhead's power. war naturally ensues. sasodei, yaoi, series, a little kisaita too!
1. prologue

Sasori stared at the clock. 5:52 a.m. Damn, there was no point in trying to get back to sleep if his alarm was only going to go off in a few minutes. Sighing, he reached out and shut off the annoying device, before sitting up and stretching. He really hated getting up this early, but he had no choice. School started today.

As he stood up, he glanced over to his bedside table, staring sadly at the empty cigarette carton. He'd have to pick some up on the way home from school today. But, first things first. He had to check the refrigerator and see if there was anything to eat.

--

The sunlight woke Deidara up. "Mmm…." The blonde sat up and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. It seemed like he was supposed to do something today…..oh yeah, school! Finally awake, he pulled on his uniform and backpack before climbing out the window, heading towards his new high school.

--

Sasori walked out of the house and up to his motorcycle. He didn't have to worry about anyone around here stealing it; the last person to attempt that had been in the hospital for over a month, and still couldn't properly use his left leg.

He flipped up the kickstand and smirked as the he revved the engine. Hours upon hours of hard work had given him a bike that could wipe the floor with every other motorcycle in town. Still smirking, he put on his helmet and drove off. _"Time to terrorize some of my dear classmates…"_

--

Deidara sighed and stared up at the school. So, this was where he'd be for the rest of the school year. "Maybe there won't be so many perverts here, un." He looked around at the other students. Nothing really special; they looked liked the average teenagers with no sense of artistry whatsoever.

"Hey hottie, what's up?" Groaning, he turned and saw a grinning jock. "You new here, babe?"

"Back off, I'm a guy, un."

"No way! There's no way any guy could be so pretty!"

WHAM

Deidara gave the boy an annoyed look as he sank to the ground. Never mess with an artist with a black belt. If he had to guess, he'd say there were more perverts around here, and none of them knew a thing about true art. Resigning himself to his fate as the only artist here, he approached the school, when he heard the roar of an engine and a scream. He turned just in time to see a kid jump onto the curb and narrowly avoid being run over by someone on a motorcycle. "Are you ok?!" he practically yelled, running up to the boy.

"Y-yeah, I just got in Akasuna's way," the teen stuttered back.

"What kind of- you're the pedestrian, you have the right of way, un!"

The teen shuddered. "Not with Akasuna Sasori you don't. That guy's the worst punk in this entire place, and don't you forget it!" With that said he ran off, leaving Deidara behind. Sasori parked his motorcycle a little further down the parking lot.

Deidara saw his chance and stomped up to the red head. "Hey you! You nearly killed that guy back there, un!"

Sasori turned around, a bored expression on his face. He realized that he hadn't seen the blonde before and quickly looked the teen up and down. "You're obviously new around here, so I'll let that slide this time." Sasori stepped closer to the blonde, dropping his voice to a whisper. "But I'm gonna make something perfectly clear to you. My nickname's the Red Demon, and there's a good reason for that. So don't cross me. Got it, miss?"

Deidara's face flushed. "I'm a boy, un! And the name's Deidara, un."

Sasori raised a brow. "Really?" He circled the blonde, looking him over again. "I've never had the pleasure of meeting a transvestite in person."

"What the hell?! I'm not a transvestite! Or a cross dresser, un!" he quickly added, seeing the Akasuna open his mouth again. "Furthermore, I don't care about what kind of control you've got over the rest of this place, you still don't have the right to nearly mow a person down, un!" Deidara kicked the rear tire of Sasori's motorcycle, as if to emphasize his point.

The parking lot cleared out in a matter of seconds. People knew better than to touch Sasori's ride.

The red head narrowed his eyes; this new kid was pushing it. "Don't. Touch. The. Bike." He stared Deidara in the eyes. "This is your last warning, brat. Stay out of my sight, or I'll make you regret it."

"I could say the same to you, un."

Sasori snorted. "Excuse me for not fearing a little girl." That did it.

WHAM

Sasori stumbled back from the punch; he honestly couldn't remember the last time anyone had dared to hit him. Suddenly, the bell rang. "Damn, I'm gonna be late on my first day, un!" And with that the blonde dashed off.

Sasori was left alone in the parking lot. He stood perfectly still for a moment, before an evil grin spread across his face. _"So, he thinks he can just get away with that?"_ He began walking towards the school. "The brat's name is Deidara? Well, Deidara, prepare yourself. The Red Demon is about to make your entire life a living hell."


	2. part 1

"_Ok, first thing's first; I have to find the principal's office and get my schedule,"_ Deidara thought to himself, waling down the crowded halls of Konoha High School. He looked around before seeing a door with the sign "Principal's Office" hanging over it. _"Well that wasn't too hard."_ He smiled as he pushed open the door.

The dark and quiet office area was a sharp contrast to the bustling and brightly lit hallway outside. Deidara walked into the hall and turned into another doorway. A blonde woman was sitting behind a large wooden desk, looking at several files. "May I help you?" she asked, not looking up from her work.

Deidara gulped; he hadn't put much thought into what he was going to say. "I-" a hand suddenly clamped down over his mouth, silencing him. "As a matter of fact, you can," a familiar voice purred. Deidara's eyes widened at the sound. He knew that voice.

The principal's head shot up. "Sasori, what a surprise," she muttered, her voice laced with sarcasm.

The red head ignored the remark and continued. "I'm here for my friend Deidara. You see, she's new, and needs to pick up her schedule." Deidara's eye grew even wider. SHE?!

"Sasori, that student is in a boy's uniform," the principal stated.

The redhead nodded. 'Yes, and that's the other thing we're here for, Tsunade. She accidentally got sent a boy's uniform, and was swearing to high heaven about it. That's why I'm covering her mouth at the moment; her language could give Hidan a run for his money." Deidara tried to protest in vain. Sasori's grip was too strong for him to break. Especially since the red head had also taken the liberty of pinning Deidara's arms at his sides.

Tsunade turned her attention back to her work. "All right then. Deidara, go get a schedule from Shizune. And Sasori, show her where we keep the extra uniforms, please?"

"Got it." The red head immediately turned and dragged the blonde out of the office, stopping only long enough to snatch a schedule off of Shizune's desk.

The arrived in the hall and were given a wide berth by the other students, some of which couldn't help but stare. Deidara rolled his eyes as he heard some of them talking, whispering that Akasuna was either going to rape, murder, or do both to him.

As it turned out, Sasori merely dragged him into a supply closet, shutting the door behind him. "What the hell are you doing, un!?" Deidara practically screamed.

Sasori merely smirked and began searching around the room. "I'm looking for….this!" He held up a girl's uniform, and quickly pressed it against Deidara. "Good, I think it'll fit. The skirt might be a little short, but-"

"There's no way in hell I'm wearing that, un," Deidara stated flatly.

Sasori smirked. "Who said you had any say in this matter…."

Screams and crashes could be heard from inside the closet for the next few minutes. When it was all over, Deidara was in a skirt, and Sasori looked like he'd been attacked by a feral cat. "And just to make sure you don't try anything funny, I'll be taking these with me." Sasori snatched up Deidara's boy uniform and dashed out of the room before Deidara could stop him.

By the time the sculptor had exited the room, the red head was nowhere in sight. "And that was my only uniform, un," the blonde groaned.

--

"So, from what I hear you grabbed a bitch and raped her in the janitor's closet?" Hidan asked, taking another puff from his cigarette. He, Sasori, and Pein were hiding behind a dumpster, smoking as opposed to attending math class.

Sasori chuckled and exhaled smoke. "Not exactly. There's this new kid called Deidara, and he popped off because I told him he looked like a girl. So, I decided to put him in a girl's outfit."

"I heard about that," Pein muttered. "He kicked your bike, right?"

"Yup. And my current goal in life is to make his existence a living hell."

"Poor bastard. He shouldn't have pissed off the devil," Hidan muttered.

"The devil isn't as scary as I am."

--

Deidara walked into the lunchroom, looking around for a place to sit. He couldn't help but notice the looks the other students were giving him. Especially the looks the jocks gave him. "Great, the perverts here are even worse, un." Sighing, he moved to the farthest corner of the room, praying that no one would bother him. "Excuse me, are you Deidara?"

He sighed inwardly. Of course someone would bother h- wait, who the hell knew his name around here? He looked up and saw a blue-haired woman. "Yes, why do you ask, un?"

The girl sat down next time him. "It's kind of complicated. My boyfriend hangs out with Akasuna Sasori, and Sasori was talking about how he stuck a new blonde kid in a girl's uniform. You looked so depressed, I thought asking you if you were that kid would be a pretty safe bet." She smiled at him. "By the way, my name's Konan."

Deidara didn't return the smile. "Well, Konan, any chance that you could help me get Akasuna off my back, un?"

"Not really. Once Sasori puts someone on his list, the kid stays there until he transfers or dies." Deidara's eyes widened. "Don't worry, the second one's never happened. But with Akasuna, you never know…."

Deidara growled. "Ok, that does it."

"Huh?"

"Sasori wants to screw around with me, un? Well fine then! This is war, un!"

Konan smiled at the teen. "You've got guts to take on Sasori. You know what? I think I'm gonna be on your side for this war. And my first act as your ally will be to get you into a boy's uniform again."

Deidara smiled. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet. Trust me, with Akasuna against you, there are going to be much worse things coming than being dressed in a girl's outfit."


	3. part 2

~~~~~~~~one month later~~~~~~~~~~

"Deidara!" Konan called out, looking for her blonde friend. She and the blonde made a habit of arriving at the school half an hour before class started, but today Deidara hadn't shown up at their usual meeting spot. Meaning Sasori had done something to the blonde, and she would have to rescue him.

"DEIDARA!" she called again, peaking into the locker room. It was a long shot, but knowing Akasuna, anything was possible.

She was about to turn and leave, when she heard a muffled shout. Raising a brow, she walked into eh locker room, shutting the door behind her. "Deidara?"

Another muffled cry, and the bin containing the locker room towels shook. Konan walked over and peered inside. Yup, there was definitely something in there. She reached down and grabbed several of the towels, yanking them away. She looked down and couldn't resist smiling.

Deidara had been tied, gagged, and dressed in a school girl's uniform. To top it all off, a sign hung around his neck, with the words, "FOR THE FOOTBALL TEAM", neatly written on it. Deidara began to squirm again, and Konan reached down, untying his gag before moving to his hands. "Mind telling me what happened?"

"Akasuna jumped me on my way inside, un," Deidara grumbled, sitting up and stretching his sore limbs. "And why does he always insist on putting me in a girl's uniform, un?!"

Konan shrugged. "A fetish, maybe?"

"Wonderful, un," the blonde muttered, following Konan into the hall. "It's bad enough that I have to put up with him in half my classes, but every time I walk down the hallway, I'm paranoid that he's gonna stuff me in a skirt, un! And I don't get where he keeps getting them all. I burn the uniform every time I end up dressed like a girl, but he always has another one on hand, un."

"And they always fit you perfectly," Konan added in a teasing tone.

"I'm going to pretend you never said that, un," Deidara muttered as Konan laughed.

"So, any revenge planned yet?" the girl asked her ally.

"Yup," Deidara replied, grinning happily. "But we need to get to Akasuna's locker to see it, un!"

The two ran down the hall and stopped about twenty feet from the said locker, peering out from behind a corner. Konan watched as Sasori calmly approached his locker. She couldn't see anything wrong with it from this view. "Dei, I don't get it. What exactly-"

"SHH!" the sculptor ordered, a wicked grin on his face. Sasori slowly dialed his locker combination, opened the door…

BOOM

Konan's jaw dropped and Deidara began laughing as they stared at Sasori, who was now covered in dripping blue liquid. "Deidara, what was that?" Konan asked, still in shock.

"It's a paint bomb, un. And the best part is, that stuff won't come out of his skin for two or three days, un," Deidara replied, wiping a tear from his eye. He and Konan left their shelter and began walking down the hall towards their class. "What wrong, Sasori? Feeling a little blue, un?" Deidara called out mockingly. The red head glared at the blonde, clearly pissed. Deidara merely chuckled and turned into a nearby classroom.

--

"Damn, Sasori, what the hell happened?!" Hidan shouted, eyes wide.

"I'd rather not say."

"You look like a Jashin damned smurf!"

"Hidan, shut up before I shut you up."

"Sasori, calm down," Pein muttered, focusing more on smoking then the argument before him. Sasori growled but took a cigarette and lit up. "Damn blonde," he muttered as he exhaled.

"Why are you so hell bent on messing with the little bitch?" Hidan asked, giving Sasori a curious look.

"Because that brat is single-handedly destroying my reputation!" Sasori answered angrily, smashing his cigarette butt underneath his foot. A small smirk crossed his face. "And I'm also a bit curious to see how long the brat will last before he caves in." The smirk disappeared, only to be replaced by a frown. "The main problem right now is Konan. He'd be in much worse shape if he didn't have her bailing him out every other time." He turned to his companions. "So, what say you guys help me?"

"Hell yeah!" Hidan screamed, punching his fist in the air.

"I can't," Pein answered quietly.

"Why the hell not?"

"Konan forbade me from hurting Deidara in any way, or assisting in the process. And she made it blatantly clear that I'll regret it if I try to hurt him."

Hidan snorted. "What'd she tell ya?"

"…I'd rather not say."

"Come on, it can't be that damn bad."

"Let's just say it involves castration and rusty pliers."

"…"

"…"

"Yeah."

--

Deidara waved goodbye to Konan before walking towards his 'home'. He almost laughed at the thought. His current place of residence was anything but a conventional home. Still, as the saying goes, home is where the heart is.

Deidara walked for a couple of miles before approaching a large, abandoned building. It was an old school, shut down years ago. It now served as the blonde's living space.

Deidara looked around to make sure no one was watching before he climbed over a chain link fence and walked around to the back of the dilapidated old building. It had been built many years ago, back when people actually put effort into construction and built things to last. Probably the only reason it was still standing.

Deidara glanced around once more before crawling in through a broken window, landing softly on the floor. Imagine that; years after a building was shut down for good, the doors were always locked, but if you broke a window, nothing would hinder you from coming inside and staying as long as you liked. Provided no one saw you come in or out.

Deidara walked down the dusty halls, his footsteps breaking the silence and echoing eerily throughout the building. He came to a room at the end of a hall and turned in, smiling. "I'm home," he called to the empty room.

It was an abandoned classroom, and judging from the stains on the floors and walls an art room. Deidara looked around at the few furnishings he had. The school hadn't been completely cleaned out when it was shut down, and Deidara had managed to scrounge up a blanket from the HOSA class and a Bunsen burner from the chemistry lab. Everything else he had had either been stolen or brought from his old home.

He sat down on the blanket and began to cook stolen ramen over the Bunsen burner. It'd didn't take much to make it; he'd filled up a water bottle at school before he left, and added it to the dry noodles for dinner. A few minutes later, the water was boiling, and it took all of Deidara's willpower to resist inhaling the noodles right then and there.

After dinner, he pulled a ball of clay out of his backpack. It was old; he'd had it since before he ran off. He worked it through his fingers for a few minutes, before putting it away. His mind wasn't on his art; it was on Sasori. _"I wonder what that bastard has in store for me tomorrow,"_ he thought to himself as he stretched out on the cool floor, using his bag for a pillow. The blonde slowly shut his eyes and drifted off to sleep.


	4. part 3

~~~~~~~~~~~the war rages on~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello, cutie."

Deidara groaned inwardly; how long would it be before these perverts figured out he was a guy? He slowly spun around, giving the group of jocks a flat look. "FYI, I'm a guy, so kindly beat it, un."

The leader chuckled as the others 'ooed' him. "Come on cutie; don't be like that."

"Actually, the brat's quite right."

Deidara nearly jumped out of his skin when Sasori popped up behind him and wrapped an arm around him, preventing any escape. So did the other teens. "A-Akasuna, w-what-"

"Aside from the guy's uniform, he has one (Sasori jabbed a finger at Deidara's throat) an Adam's apple; two (he yanked up Deidara's shirt) no breasts; and three (he grabbed Deidara's pants, and before the blonde could react, yanked them down) that."

Deidara turned beat red. He quickly yanked his pants up, slapped Sasori across the face, and threw the Akasuna down the hall.

"IWA! AKASUNA! MY OFFICE, NOW!!!!!"

--

Tsunade sat in her chair, glaring at the two artists who were glaring at each other. "Ok. I could stand the graffiti on the motorcycle. I could stand the cross dressing. Hell, I could even stand you blowing up part of the roof-"

"Only because you can't prove we did any of that," Sasori muttered under his breath.

"-but this crosses the line!" she yelled, slamming her fist down on her desk and cracking it down the middle. "So listen up. Either you two straighten up, or I'll expel you both!"

"Fine by me," Sasori stated nonchalantly. Deidara said nothing, merely nodding his head. The two were dismissed and quickly left the office.

--

"She'll expel you?!"

"That's what I said, un." Deidara sighed and held his head in his hands. He and Konan were sitting together at lunch, and he'd just finished explaining to the blue haired teen what had happened earlier.

Konan sighed and rose from her seat. "I was worried something like this would happen." She grabbed the sculptor's hand and pulled him to his feet. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"Outside." She dragged the blonde to a door and pushed it open, making him wince from the sudden change from fluorescent lighting to sunlight. She dragged the sculptor away from the building and towards a wooded area. "Konan, what's with these trees, un?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?"

"They're planted in rows, un. It doesn't look like a normal forest."

Konan laughed "That's because it's not. Years ago, all the vegetation around here was hacked down. The air around here became toxic; kids actually had to be hospitalized from lung problems. So the Agriculture class got together some funds and planted the trees around here. They're all in rows with a few clearings here and there for grass and flowers. It's helped immensely, but unfortunately students aren't allowed to come back here."

"Then what are we doing here, un?"

"Trying to keep you and Akasuna from being expelled." Deidara wanted to ask what she meant, when he suddenly heard a loud laugh. He kept his mouth closed and followed Konan to one of the clearings she'd mentioned earlier.

He saw three people; a silver haired teenage boy with an unbuttoned shirt, another guy with auburn hair and at least half a dozen facial piercings, and Akasuna Sasori.

The teen with piercings was the first to notice their approach. "Hello Konan," he called out.

Immediately the other two boys turned to look, their eyes narrowing at the sight of the blonde. "Konan, why did you bring the brat out here?" Sasori asked in a bored tone.

"Because you moron, some people aren't exactly looking forward to you two being expelled."

"Imagine that," the silver haired boy said sarcastically.

"Hidan, shut up before I do to you what I threatened to do to Pein." The Jashinist grew paler than usual and ducked behind the auburn haired teen.

"Seriously Konan, why did you bring him out here?" Pein asked.

"Because you these two need to learn to get along, and what better way to do that than to force some bonding time on you guys?" Konan asked, sitting down. Deidara sat down next to her; he wasn't quite sure he trusted the others yet. Sasori went back to eating, Pein shrugged, and Hidan was already cutting himself again.

--

"Well, I suppose today could have gone worse, un. Although I'm not exactly sure how, un."

"Cheer up; with any luck, we can get Akasuna to get off your back after a while," Konan replied, a smile on her face. Suddenly, they heard an engine rev, and a very familiar motorcycle drove up, stopping in front of them. Sasori stared a t the two. "Get on," he said, looking at Deidara.

No one moved.

"Didn't you hear me? Get on."

"Give me one good reason to, un."

Sasori gave the blonde an annoyed look. "Because for the first time in a very long while, I'm trying to do something that doesn't intentionally cause harm to someone else. No get on before I run over your feet." Deidara looked at Konan, praying she would be able to get him out of this. "Go ahead Dei. If he tries anything, and I mean ANYTHING funny, he'll regret it." She gave Sasori a glare that could have frozen fire. The Akasuna merely looked at the sculptor again, who reluctantly climbed onto the bike, wrapping his arms around Sasori. The Akasuna smirked and shot out of the parking lot, leaving behind Konan and any hopes Deidara had about coming out of this alive.

They only drove for a few blocks before Sasori pulled over. Deidara gulped; what now?

"Two things, brat." Sasori pulled his helmet off and stuck it roughly on Deidara's head. "One; wear that. I only have one, so it's better that it be on you than me."

"Why's that, un? I thought you were bent on killing me."

Sasori smiled. "That's precisely the reason the helmet's on you. If we have a fatal crash, brat, one of two things will happen. If we crash and I die, I'm dead. If we crash and you die, I get slapped with manslaughter and spend the next decade in a cell with a guy named Bubba."

Deidara gave the red head a flat look. "So, it's about legalities, is it, un?"

"Yup. And thing number two; where the hell do you live?"

Deidara's mind froze up. There was no way he was telling Sasori that his current place of residence was an abandoned school building. "Why should I tell you, un? If you find out where I live, you'll probably come in the middle of the night and set my house on fire, un."

"As tempting as that sounds, no. Now tell me where to go before I decide to drive to the outskirts of town and dump you on the side of the road." Deidara bit his lip, when an idea hit him. "I can't go home yet, un."

"And why is that?"

"My fridge is empty, and I need to go grocery shopping, un." A weak lie, but somewhat convincing.

"Grocery shopping? Doesn't your mom do that?"

"I'm on my own, bastard." Sasori frowned but turned around, gunning the engine. Deidara tightly fastened his arms around Sasori's chest, and resisted the urge to grin. He'd fallen for it.

Deidara was amazed by how fast the scenery shot by on a motorcycle. So very different from just riding in a car. His grip unconsciously tightened around Sasori's middle, making the red head smirk and speed up. Deidara decided it was safe to say that they were going WAY over the speed limit.

When they finally pulled into the parking lot of a grocery store, Sasori killed the engine. "Deidara, let go," he wheezed. The blonde immediately released his death grip on the red head; he had no idea he was holding on so tightly.

Deidara began to walk into the store. Realizing that Sasori hadn't started up the engine again, he turned to see the red head following him. "What the hell are you doing, un?!"

"Going in with you. If you don't get too much, I can still take you home. Got it?"

Deidara groaned inwardly. Ok, time for an emergency course of action….

~~~~~~~~~~~~30 minutes later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How hard is it to pick out a damn can of soup?" Sasori hissed through clenched teeth.

Deidara shrugged. "It's called pricing, Sasori, un." He picked up a can, pretending to think hard. "Hmm, this has 239 calories and costs $2.49, but I only need about 200 calories to get me going in the morning, and since this one costs $2.14 but only has 187 calories-"

"OK, that's it; you're on your own!" Sasori turned on his heels and stormed off, positively radiating death and doom as he exited the store. Deidara sighed to himself; he was safe.

The sculptor waited in the store for twenty more minutes, just to be sure the Akasuna was long gone. He carefully snuck into the ramen aisle and stuffed two packs under his shirt. He felt bad; the store owner was a kind old man who couldn't afford security cameras, and relied on the honesty of people to keep him from going bankrupt. _"I swear, as soon as I can, I WILL pay him back,"_ Deidara thought guiltily, slinking out of the store.

It had grown dark, and Deidara found himself almost wishing that Sasori had stuck around. Almost. He wasn't quite that desperate yet, and he was fully capable of defending himself. He just couldn't risk anything happening to the ramen.

As he walked down the dark sidewalk, the blonde could have sworn he heard something behind him. He decided to let it go; no point in letting paranoia-

At that moment a pair of arms wrapped around Deidara's body, and the blonde lost it.

Deidara immediately kicked his leg in between his assailants, spun around, grabbed the person's forearm, and flipped him. "Ow," a familiar voice moaned from the ground.

Deidara's eyes widened. "Sasori?!"

"Who else?" the red head mumbled, sitting up and rubbing his back. "You're a lot stronger than you look, you know that?"

"I thought you would have figured that out after I hurled you down the hall at school, un."

"Should have. Didn't." Sasori stood and faced the blonde. "Now start talking."

"About what, un?"

Deidara had the air knocked out of him as Sasori slammed him into a nearby wall. "Don't screw with me, Deidara," he whispered, voice dangerously low.

Deidara felt his face turn red from being so close to the red head. _"No, calm down! Remember, he's the devil incarnate!"_

"Brat, why did you pretend to shop around forever, then hide in the back of the store for twenty minutes before stealing that ramen and sneaking out?"

Deidara tried to think of an excuse, but nothing came to mind. Sighing, he let the truth slip out. "I stole it because I couldn't pay for it, un."

"You could have told me that; I would have lent you the cash."

"I couldn't have paid you back, un." Deidara averted his gaze. "I don't have a job, and I don't have a home, un."

Silence

Sasori looked at the sculptor, trying to figure out if he was lying. He wasn't. "Where the hell have you been going then?"

"The old high school that was shut down, un," Deidara muttered.

Sasori raised a brow. "You live in that dump?"

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Deidara hissed, anger rising out of nowhere.

Sasori shook his head and released his grip on the blonde, turning around. "Come on. I'll take you home." Deidara nodded and followed the red head. The Akasuna would probably spread the news of him being homeless all over the high school.

His mind wandered as he climbed onto Sasori's motorcycle. What the hell was he going to do? The easiest thing would be to transfer, but he only had to stay in school for one more year. He should probably just tough it out; the worst thing that would happen would be him getting pitied.

Sasori pulled over and killed the engine. "We're here," he said.

Deidara looked around and quickly realized they were nowhere near the high school. "Sasori, un?"

"I said we were going home. As in, my home." Before the blonde could protest, Sasori was dragging him up the walkway and towards the door of a one story house.

"Won't your parents mind, un?"

"They're dead, so probably not." Sasori pulled a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door, stepping inside and pulling Deidara with him. He quickly shut the door and flipped on the light

The first thing the blonde noticed was that the house smelled like cigarette smoke. The second thing was that it was a complete mess. "This is the living room. "The kitchen is down that hall; the bathroom and my bedroom are down the other hall. You can sleep on the couch."

Deidara stared at Sasori like he was crazy, which wasn't too far off the mark. "What the hell makes you think I'm staying here, un?"

"Because if you don't I'll tell everyone I know about you living in that old building. Word will eventually reach Konan's ear, she will insist that you move in with her and Pein, and you will be kept up every night, listening to the sound of them screwing. AS I said earlier, you're sleeping on the couch. Night." Sasori turned to leave.

"Wait!"

"What now, brat?"

"Why are you doing this? And don't tell me it's out of the goodness of your heart, because I doubt you have one, un."

"Ouch, that hurt." Sasori grinned wickedly. "You want the truth? Konan forbade us from fighting on school grounds, for fear of us being expelled. My house, however, is free game for our war. You can look forward to hell on earth during your stay here, brat." And with that he left.

Deidara stood there for a moment, processing what he'd just heard. A smile spread over his face. "So, he wants the war to continue, un?" The sculptor chuckled. "Sasori, didn't you ever pay attention in history class, un? Never take the battle to your home."


	5. part 4

"Brat, get up."

"Nnnnn……" Deidara grumbled and rolled over in his sleep, burying his face in the back of the couch. Sasori smirked as he stood over the blonde. He'd gotten up and made his coffee, which was currently being held in his left hand. He hadn't even gotten the chance to drink it before going over to wake up the blonde.

Speaking of which…he dipped his finger into the warm drink. "It's not scalding. I guess." Without another thought, he dumped the coffee onto the blonde's head.

Deidara jerked up, spluttering as the sweet-smelling drink ran into his nose and eyes. "Sasori, what the hell, un?!"

"People have coffee in the morning to wake them up, Deidara. I thought you could use some."

Deidara was about to swear enough make Hidan proud, when he saw the clock. "It's 6:08, un!"

"Yup. I always get up at 6 in the morning, and so will you."

"Why the hell, un?!"

"You should be thanking me; now you have enough time to take a shower and wash the coffee out of your hair."

Deidara stared at the red head, eyes wide. "But you-this coffee-you're the one-SCREW YOU, SASORI!" Deidara stormed out of the room and into the bathroom, growling and muttering under his breath. The Akasuna smirked; Sasori 1, Deidara 0.

The red head sighed and walked into the kitchen, pouring another cup of coffee from the pot. "What a waste of perfectly good coffee," he thought sadly. He gently blew on the warm liquid before bringing the cup to his lips. "I didn't even get to taste it-" Sasori spewed coffee all over the countertop, coughing and spitting. "What the hell?!" He sipped the coffee again and spit it out a second time. "Great, I need a smoke," he muttered, opening one of the counter drawers. He froze.

Sasori shut the drawer and opened it again, hoping his eyes were playing tricks on him. They weren't.

Growling menacingly, he stormed down the hall and threw open the bathroom door. "Where the hell are my cigarettes?!"

"Sasori, get out!" Deidara screamed, pulling the shower curtain close to his body as his head peeked out at the Akasuna.

"One; stop acting like a chick. Two; answer the damn question! I get very irritable when I don't have my cigs on hand."

Deidara smiled. "I threw them out, un."

Sasori's eyes widened. "What?"

"I threw them out. They're bad for you, they make your house and breath stink, and they're a waste of cash. So I threw them away while you were sleeping, un. I'm pretty sure I cleaned out the whole house, un."

Sasori looked ready to murder the blonde. "Brat, if you're telling the truth, I'll-"

"Throw me out?" Deidara asked mockingly.

Sasori balled his hands into fists and walked over to the blonde. "You are going to suffer." He turned and flushed the toilet.

"YEOW!!!! That's cold, un!"

--

"The blonde threw out your damn cigarettes?" Hidan asked, wide-eyed.

"Isn't that what I just said?" Sasori hissed, yanking a cigarette out of the Jashinist's hand and lighting up. "Damn, I needed this," he muttered happily.

"I can't believe he got rid of your smokes," Pein muttered.

"I can't believe the kid is still walking," Hidan added.

--

"You threw out Akasuna's death sticks?!" Konan asked, mouth hanging open.

"Yup. Why, un?"

"Deidara, the last person that even _touched_ Sasori's cigarettes ended up in two casts and couldn't speak for months. The fact that you're still registering a pulse right now is a miracle."

Deidara shrugged. "I don't car, un. Sasori can do his worst, and I'll still beat him, un."

"You say that now, but with Akasuna….just to be on the safe side, I'm picking you up tomorrow before school, ok?"

"Why, un?"

"Judging from how dangerously you're fighting this war and knowing Sasori, by tomorrow morning you'll need backup to keep him from attaching a lovely pair of cement shoes to your feet and chucking you into the bottom of the river."

--

DING-DONG

Sasori raised a brow. "What the…?" Deidara was in the shower, so it couldn't be the brat. Curious, he walked down the hall and opened the door. "Yes?"

"Sasori, I just-oh my god, would it kill you to get dressed before answering the door?!"

Sasori looked down and mentally cursed himself. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and his pants weren't even zipped up all the way. "Sorry, Konan."

"Yeah, yeah," Konan replied, averting her eyes as she walked into the house. "So, where's Dei? Did you kill him in the night?"

Sasori smirked. "No. Although the blonde probably wishes he were dead right about now."

Konan stared at the red head, "Sasori, if anything's happened-"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!" Both teens started and looked down the hall. Deidara came stumbling out of the bathroom and ran towards them, leaping in to Konan's arms. "KONAN!" he cried, tears running down his face.

"Dei, what happened?!"

The blonde looked up at his friend, tears streaming down his face. "I was in the shower…and he started laughing…and…" he was crying too hard to get anything else out.

Konan looked from Sasori to the blonde to Sasori again. "You raped him, didn't you?!"

Sasori's eyes widened. "Konan, I didn't-" But he never got the chance to finish his thought, because in the next instant Konan was beating him to a bloody pulp.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~the next day~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I can't believe you thought I raped him," Sasori muttered, rubbing his sore body. "Did you have to hit so hard?"

"You deserved it for what you did to me, un!"

"Deidara's right, Sasori," Konan added. They were in first period, the only class all three of them shared. They were talking about yesterday's events. As it turned out, Sasori had put blue hair dye in Deidara's shampoo, making the golden locks turn green. Deidara had refused to leave the house with his hair like that, and Konan had skipped school to help the blonde dye his hair back to its original color. Sasori had spent the better part of that day lying on the floor, moaning in pain.

"In any case, the war is still on."

"Un."

"Class, may I have you attention?" the students reluctantly tore themselves away from their conversations to see what the teacher was talking about. "We have a new student." A boy walked forward, giving the class an extremely bored look. He had onyx colored hair and eyes, and strange scars running down from his eyes like tears. "Everyone, meet Itachi Uchiha."

"Dammit, un." Sasori turned and saw a strange sight. Deidara's visible eye was wide, and he had turned pale. His hands were tightly gripping the sides of his desk, and he was shaking.

"Dei, what's wrong?" Konan asked, voice filled with concern. "You know this guy?"

"He's my ex, un."


	6. part 5

"Your ex?" Sasori asked, now curious.

"Yeah, un," Deidara whispered, eyes not leaving the boy at the front of the room. Itachi began to walk towards the back of the room, down the aisle where Deidara was sitting.

When he saw the blonde, he stopped and smiled. "Hello, Dei." He reached down and flipped up the blonde's bangs, temporarily exposing Deidara's hidden eye. The blonde looked away, trying to ignore the Uchiha. Itachi chuckled and walked towards the back of the room, sitting only two seats from Deidara.

As the day wore on, Sasori noticed that Itachi had almost all his classes with Deidara, including several the red head didn't share with the blonde. Whenever Itachi got close to Deidara, he'd either play with the blonde's hair or stroke his cheek, much to Dei's displeasure. Sasori found himself getting angry at the weasel's actions, yet couldn't figure out why. "I thought you said the guy was your ex, brat," he growled at lunch.

"He is, but I broke up with him, so he can't accept that I'm over him, un." Deidara sighed and picked at his food. "Bastard's made me lose my appetite, un." He sighed and stood up. "I'm gonna go for a walk, ok?" Without waiting for an answer, he disappeared into the woods.

Sasori tried to eat his lunch, but was constantly distracted by the feeling that someone was watching him. He looked up. Ok, scratch that, someone was glaring at him. That someone turned out to be Konan. "What do you want?" he asked the woman in a bored tone.

"I want to know what you plan on doing about that weasel!" she growled.

"Why would I do anything about him? As long as Deidara suffers I'm fine."

She snorted. "That's a load of bull if I ever heard it. You looked like you were ready to gut that bastard every time he touched Dei today. I know it bugs you to see someone else touch that blonde; now what are you going to do?"

"Absolutely nothing. This is the brat's problem, so he has to take care of it."

Konan gave him a sad look. "That's cold. Even for you, Sasori." The red head said nothing but set aside his food. Suddenly, he wasn't hungry anymore.

--

Deidara sighed as he walked down the empty hallway. Dammit, he'd been so distracted by his ex showing up he'd forgotten to grab his bag! He groaned as he shut the locker; Sasori was no doubt gone by now, meaning he'd have to walk home. _"This has been an absolutely wonderful day,"_ he thought bitterly. A pair of arms suddenly wrapped around his waist. "Why the long face, Dei?" The blonde jumped; he knew these arms and voice.

Deidara easily broke away from the Uchiha. "Easy. You came back into my life, un."

"Now now, you shouldn't be so angry. It ruins your pretty face," Itachi chuckled, moving closer to Deidara.

The blonde backed down the hallway, being careful to avoid backing into the lockers. The worst mistake you could make in this situation was allowing yourself to get boxed in. "Back off before I hurt you, un."

"Try to be civilized, Dei. There's no need to bring violence into this."

Deidara knew the Uchiha was right. He could beat Deidara in a fight hands down, so flight was the blonde's best bet right now. "Itachi, leave me alone."

"Why should I?" the Uchiha frowned. "Have you found someone else?"

"Yes, un." Deidara could have smacked himself.

"Really? Then where is he?" Itachi asked, an evil smirk creeping onto his face as he stepped towards the blonde.

Deidara stepped back. "Who says it's a guy, un?"

"I know you, Dei. You're gay and submissive. It has to be a guy; that's all there is to it." Itachi moved closer. "Unless you're lying…"

Deidara gulped, trying to think of an explanation-when a pair of arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him close to the person's body. "I'm sorry I'm late, Dei-chan." Deidara nearly fainted; it was Sasori's voice.

Itachi frowned. "Is he your boyfriend?"

"Yeah. Got a problem with that, pretty boy?" Deidara flinched; Itachi tended to hurt people that called him that. Sasori looked down at Deidara. "You all right?"

Deidara forced a smile onto his face. "Yeah, I'm fine Sasori danna." Deidara's eyes widened and Sasori's grip tightened on his waist. _"Where the hell did danna come from?!" _they thought simultaneously.

Sasori managed to keep his cool and smiled down at the blonde. "Good. Let's go then." He turned and pulled Deidara down the hall.

Deidara tried to pull away, but Sasori held him firm. "Sa-"

"Shut up, he's following us." Deidara gulped and did as Sasori ordered. They turned a corner and Sasori took off running, pulling Deidara behind him. The red head grabbed a doorknob and pulled Deidara into the room, shutting the door behind them quickly.

Deidara looked around and realized they were in the same closet where he'd first been forced into a girl's uniform. "What the hell, un?!" he whispered angrily.

"I should be asking you that!" Sasori hissed angrily. "What the hell was with the danna, and why were you letting that bastard get so close to you?!"

"I don't know, and that's none of your business, un!"

"If it makes me late it is! I've been waiting for down in the parking lot, brat!" Deidara stared. Sasori…_waited_? "Sasori-"

"Quiet!" the red head ordered before slamming Deidara into the wall, his own body pressed against the blonde's. A shadow walked past the room, blocking out the light coming in through the window on the door. After a moment it walked away and Sasori relaxed, although his eyes remained glued to the door and he didn't move away from his protective position over the blonde.

Deidara blushed as his heart sped up. _"Sasori's so close…"_ He shut his eyes, trying to regain control of his body.

Sasori looked down at the blonde and smirked. He stepped back, placing one hand on Deidara's chest. The blonde's eyes snapped open and looked up at the redhead. "Well well, I've managed to get your heart going." Sasori chuckled as the blonde's pulse sped up beneath his fingers. The smile fell, and his fingers traveled up Deidara's chest and neck, finally coming to rest on the blonde's cheek. "Danna," the blonde whispered.

Sasori started at the word. His free arm moved to Deidara's back, pulling the blonde close to him. "Dammit brat, you shouldn't have said that." Before Deidara could register the words, Sasori had pulled him into a kiss.

Deidara's body shut down, refusing to move even an inch. _"No no no!" You must resist! He's the devil incarnate, he's the bane of your existence, he's…a damn good kisser…" _Deidara's body finally moved, but instead of pulling away his arms snaked their way up Sasori's body, wrapping around the Akasuna's neck and returning the kiss. His legs threatened to give out when Sasori's tongue invaded his mouth, rubbing against his own. Suddenly Sasori pulled away, pressing them against the wall. Deidara's face was buried in the Akasuna's neck, so he couldn't tell what was happening.

His heart skipped a beat when he heard the door open. "What the hell?" a man's voice asked.

Sasori turned and looked at the man. It was just the janitor. "Look, kid, I don't care what you do, but kindly take your whore somewhere else to do it."

Deidara felt Sasori tense and grabbed his clothing. "Don't, un!" he pleaded softly. Sasori didn't respond; he just dragged Deidara out of the room before the janitor could figure out the blonde's identity.

Sasori drove them to a supermarket and shut off the engine. "You need to get coffee to replace the stuff you ruined, brat," he stated simply, handing the blonde five dollars. Deidara walked in and quickly paid for the mix, then walked back out into the parking lot.

He couldn't see Sasori's motorcycle anywhere. "DAMN YOU SASORI, UN!"

--

BAM

Sasori turned to see a very pissed looking blonde standing in his doorway, and barely had time to react when a coffee container was hurled at his head. "Sasori, did you know it's ten blocks from here to the supermarket, un?" the blonde asked through clenched teeth.

"Really? I counted twelve," Sasori replied before taking the coffee into the kitchen. Deidara flopped down onto the couch, groaning. He really wanted to kill that red head.

Deidara sighed out loud. He could still taste Sasori on his lips, and as much as he hated to say it, he liked it. "_I think he liked it too. And when that janitor came in...I wonder what would have happened....if i hadn't stop-"_

Deidara shot up, wide-eyed. He'd told Sasori to stop. And the red head had _listened _to him.

Deidara felt a grin spread across his face. He had exercised control over the Akasuna. The war was not over yet.


	7. part 6

The next day was Saturday, and the blonde was surprised to see Sasori up before 7 a.m. That was way too early to be up on a Saturday, and the redhead even was about to walk out the door. Something was up. "Danna, what are you doing, un?" Deidara nearly smacked himself. He'd called Sasori danna again.

The red head looked at the blonde. "Nothing that concerns you. Go back to sleep."

"No, un."

Sasori let out a sigh of frustration. "And why not?"

"Because I don't want to, un." Deidara walked over to the door and looked Sasori in the eye. "Now tell me where you're going, un."

Sasori felt himself give in, more out of irritation than anything else. "To the dump. I need some parts."

--

Deidara looked around once Sasori had stopped. "So this is the dump, un."

"Ya think, blondie?" The red head received a glare as Deidara climbed off the motorcycle, looking around.

"Why don't you just go to the store like a normal person and buy the parts there, un?"

"Because I don't have that kind of cash, brat."

"You would if you didn't blow all your money on smokes, un."

"Shut up." Sasori began walking away from the blonde, looking around. "Where the hell is he? KISAME!"

"What?" Deidara squeaked and jumped when a tall blue man popped up from behind a gutted car, motor oil going across his face.

The man chuckled and walked over to the bomber. "So, Sasori brought a friend?" he turned to the Akasuna. "What's the dude's name?"

"I'M A- wait, what did you call me?"

"A guy. You're flat, you've got an Adam's apple….that makes you a guy. Am I right?"

Tears of happiness glistened in Deidara's eyes, and he gave the shark a huge smile. "Finally, someone who knows my actual gender, un!" He glomped Kisame, knocking them to the ground.

The next instant he was being held above the shark by Sasori, who had a firm grip on Deidara's shirt collar. "If you're quite done, brat, I need this guy to help me. Go play with some rusty bedsprings."

"But won't I get tetanus, un?"

"Do I look like I care?" Deidara frowned and walked off, leaving the blue man and the red head alone together. "Sorry about him," Sasori said, offering the shark his hand.

"It's cool," Kisame replied, rising to his feet. "So, what do you need today?"

"The engine's been rattling again. I need you to take a look."

Kisame raised a brow. "I'm not a mechanic, you know. You'd have better luck figuring out the problem then me." Sasori shot him a look and Kisame sighed in defeat. "Fine. But don't blame me if I can't fix it!" Sasori nodded and grabbed his motorcycle, wheeling it into the small building Kisame ran his business in.

As the shark began disassembling the bike, he grinned at the Akasuna. "So, mind telling me about the blonde? You two dating?"

"Hardly. I'm merely trying to make his existence miserable by whatever means possible." Kisame chuckled. "What's so funny?" the redhead demanded.

"For someone who tries so hard to hate him, you must really like the kid."

"What makes you say that?"

"Sasori, when was the last time you let anyone, and I mean ANYONE, ride on Hiruko?"

"Don't call it that," Sasori muttered, looking away and making Kisame laugh.

"Why not? You used to all the time. You were so cute as a little kid; always watching the bikers go by. And you loved how some of them gave their motorcycles names, and you swore you'd name yours Hiruko." Kisame gently ran his fingers under the fender. "You even carved it into the metal."

"Shut up! What are you, my dad?"

"No, but from all the time I hung around you when you were little, I may as well be your brother."

"Do you have a cig?" Sasori asked in hopes of changing the subject.

"No. And I thought you always had some on hand."

"That little blonde nightmare took them all and threw them away," Sasori hissed. "And as soon as I buy more, he does the same damn thing!"

"Reason number two that I believe you really like him. Anyone else did that, they'd be pushing up daisies right about now. And you know I'm right. Oh, and my third reason is that you were pretty quick to pull him off of me when I got hugged." Kisame grinned and stood up, pinching Sasori's cheek. "Is the little scorpion a bit overprotective?"

"No, I'm just used to perverts coming at him all the time."

Kisame's grin grew wider. "So, you admit that you protect him?" Sasori realized too late he'd walked right into a trap, and couldn't think of anything to say.

Fortunately he didn't have to, because right then Deidara walked up. "Danna, can we go, un?"

"Quit whining brat. I have to fix this."

"He's determined to make it run for all eternity," Kisame told Deidara while shaking his head.

"But what's so beautiful about eternity? It should be like true art, and be brief, un!"

"Brat, true art is eternal."

Deidara shook his head. "No, it's instantaneous, Sasori danna."

"It's eternal, and quit calling me danna."

"No, it's a short blast danna."

"How cute. You two argue like a married couple."

"SHUT UP!" the artists screamed.

Sasori grabbed his motorcycle and wheeled it away. "Come on, we're going."

"Yes danna."

Kisame shook his head as he watched the two drive off. "And there's another thing, Sasori. You let him call you danna." He smiled. Sasori was only a few years younger than him, so he couldn't help feeling like a brother to the red head. "I hope he makes you happy, Sasori."

--

Deidara groaned and rolled over on the couch. Damn that Sasori, even his couch was working against the blonde! He groaned and rolled over onto his back for the third time that night. By some strange miracle of fate, he found this to be a comfy position and shut his eyes, intent on falling asleep.

Until he heard a floorboard creak.

His eyes shot open, and he lay motionless on the couch, heart pounding in his chest. Listening carefully, he could hear footsteps walking down the hall and into the kitchen. It must be a burglar.

His mind began racing, trying to figure out what to do. Sasori slept like a log and probably hadn't heard a thing. Meaning the blonde was on his own.

_"Ok, I'll sneak up behind him and chop him in a pressure point. Then all I have to do is lock him in the closet and call the cops. Sounds easy enough."_ Deidara carefully sat up, eyes peering over the back of the couch to make sure the intruder hadn't come back into the room. He slowly put his foot on the floor, praying he remembered where all the loose floorboards were so he wouldn't startle the person. He carefully crept along the side of the room, tiptoeing to the kitchen door-

When he stepped on a loose floorboard.

His mind went into overdrive. _"Ok, the element of surprise is gone. I'll flip on the lights and charge right at him!" _He slammed open the door and hit the light switch. "FREEZE, UN!"

Sasori merely opened the fridge and pulled out the orange juice.

"WHAT THE-danna, what are you doing!? You almost gave me a freakin' heart attack, un!" Sasori ignored the sculptor and walked over to the cabinet, his hand reaching for a glass. "Hey bastard, I'm talking to you, un!" Deidara stormed over to Sasori and spun him around to face him.

The puppet master's eyes were closed.

"Huh?" Sasori walked forward and moved to the table, sitting down and pouring himself a glass of juice, most of which spilled onto the table. "Oh my god, he's sleepwalking, un."

Instantly a thousand different possibilities flooded Deidara's mind.

A twisted smile appeared on the blonde's face. "This could be fun, un. But fortunately for you, Sasori danna, I'm too tired to try anything big right now." The red head rose from his seat, walking over to the fridge and putting the juice up, before turning to exit the room. Deidara ran over and spun him around. "Ah-ah-ah, Sasori danna, you need to go this way." Biting back his laughter, the blonde led Sasori to the door, opened it and let Sasori stumble out of the house and towards the street. He shut the door and burst into laughter, before returning to the living room and flopping down on the couch.

--

The next morning the couch was flipped over, dumping the blonde to the floor and landing on top of him. "OWWW!"

"Oh Deidara…"

The blonde gulped. He did not like that tone. Slowly, he crawled out from under the couch to look up at a **very** pissed Sasori.

The red head's eye was twitching. "Deidara, do you know where I was this morning?" He spoke through gritted teeth.

"Um, well-"

"I WAS IN THE GODDAMN STREET TWO MILES FROM MY HOUSE! Care to tell me how I got outside, brat?"

"Sasori danna, I can explain-"

"Oh, I'm sure you can." A sick smile crossed the Akasuna's face. "Deidara, have you ever heard of I thing called karma? It's the idea that what goes around comes around." Sasori took a step towards the bomber as an evil laugh escaped his lips.

"Danna, what are you gonna do, un? Sasori danna? EEK!"

--

Konan turned when she heard the sound of rushing footsteps. It was Hidan, who stopped right in front of her, gasping for breath. At first she thought it was from his running, but she slowly realized it was because he was laughing. "Hidan?"

He looked up at her, wiping a tear from his eye. "Go to the Jashin damned gym. You have to see this."

She took off and walked to the gym, nearly colliding with a huge crowd of people who were gathered around, looking at something. She looked up and saw what. Or rather, who. "DEIDARA!"

The blonde was tied, gagged, in a girl's uniform, and had roughly been shoved into a basketball hoop, his legs hanging over the side as his arms desperately tugged on his clothing tried to keep several perverts from peeking under his skirt.


	8. part 7

Sasori was down on his hands and knees, looking under his bed. Nothing. He growled and climbed to his feet. The blonde had been in his room again, and cleaned out his smokes. Time to strangle a certain bomber. "BRAT!"

Deidara resisted the urge to smile. It would probably have gotten him killed, judging from the look on Sasori's face. "What is it danna? I didn't do anything to your coffee this time, un." He strolled across the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, pulling out an apple before walking over to the table to eat.

"You were in my room again, weren't you?! If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, stay out of there!"

"Why? You hide you porn in the broom closet, so what's the big deal, un?"

"_Note to self; move the porn._ The big deal is that it's my house, so my rules. Now where the hell did you put my cigarettes?! I had a new pack under my bed last night, and now it's gone!"

Deidara smiled. "I have no idea what you're talking about, danna. But if I've told you once, I've told you a MILLION times, I don't want you to smoke, un! You bring home any death sticks and they get thrown out, un." Deidara rose from the table with his apple core and walked over to the garbage can, throwing it away.

Sasori was about to kill the blonde, when he was struck by a brilliant plan. Smirking, he walked over to Deidara and spun him around. "Sasori, what the-" The Akasuna grabbed Deidara's shoulders and pinned him against the wall. "OWW! Danna, let me go, un!"

"Deidara," Sasori purred, bringing his mouth close to the blonde's ear, "do you have any idea how fuckable you look right now?"

Deidara felt his pulse increase as his body froze up. _"Dammit, why can't I fight back?!"_

"In fact…" Sasori chuckled and moved away from the blonde's lips. He smirked and crashed their lips together, shattering any resistance Deidara may have had.

Sasori's lips worked their magic against Deidara's mouth, while his hands ghosted down the blonde's body, feeling him up. Suddenly he pulled away from their kissing, an evil smirk painted on his face. "Got 'em."

"Hmm?"

Sasori held up a pack of cigarettes and snickered as the blonde's eyes widened. "You're too easy, you know?" He laughed as he walked out of the room, leaving the blonde to steam with rage.

--

"And then he just walks out of the room with his death sticks, un!"

Konan shook her head as she looked at the pouting bomber. "What did you expect, Dei? Akasuna may singlehandedly be the most manipulative bastard this world has ever known."

"Wouldn't surprise me at all, un," Deidara growled under his breath. The worst part was, he hadn't been able to get the taste of Sasori out of his mouth. _"Why does that bastard have so much power over me?! And what can I do about it? Hmm……" _

--

Unbeknownced to the sculptor, a few classrooms over Sasori was having a much worse problem. Namely, his imagination had been acting up since his and Deidara's little kiss, and not even smoking could distract him. _"Blondie's not half bad at kissing. I wonder what else his tongue could do…"_ perverted imagines flooded the Akasuna's mind, and he felt blood rush to his nether regions. Fortunately for him, the bell rang and he was able to escape to the safety of the hallway.

--

Deidara sighed as he slammed his head into his locker. It was no use; Sasori was stuck in his head. "I need a break, un." He decided to head to the broom closet he'd been in so many times before. He threw his book into his locker and walked down the hallway, ducking inside the closet to get peace.

The only problem was that Sasori was already in here. And judging from the position of his hand, jacking off.

"QUIT STARING BRAT!"

Deidara quickly averted his gaze. "What are you doing, danna?"

"What the hell does it look like I'm doing?!"

"You know what I mean, un."

"I'm trying to take care of a little problem caused by a certain blonde!" Deidara felt his face go red. What exactly had Sasori been thinking about? Wait, scratch that; he didn't want to know.

Suddenly, an idea hit him. He couldn't help smiling as he realized he could use this to his advantage. "Sasori danna…."

The red head looked up as the blonde crossed the room, standing in front of him with a smirk on his face. "What exactly were you thinking about, un?"

"Take a wild guess." The bomber wasn't fazed and moved closer. Sasori felt his hand get pulled away, as Deidara got down on his knees in front of the Akasuna. "Deidara?"

The blonde smirked and grasped Sasori's hardened member in his hand. "Something…like this?" His tongue flicked out, lightly brushing the head.

Sasori hissed and fell back against the wall behind him. "Dei…"

The blonde merely chuckled and ran his tongue over the head again, blowing on the tip. "You like this, danna?"

"If you don't stop screwing around-" Sasori was abruptly cut off by Deidara taking his length into his mouth and sucking lightly on it. He moaned and grabbed the back of Deidara's head, pushing down and forcing the blonde to take more of him in.

Deidara nearly gagged but didn't let up, sucking and humming on Sasori's cock. The red head moaned and thrust into the blonde's cavern, trying to get all the way in. "God Deidara, your mouth…." The bomber's arms snaked around Sasori's waist as his mouth continued to please the redhead. It didn't take long for Sasori to explode inside the blonde.

Deidara swallowed and looked up at the Akasuna, smirking. "You taste good, un."

Yeah yeah…" Sasori quickly fixed his pants. Problem solved. "You mind telling me what that was about, brat?"

"These, un." Deidara held up a pack of cigarettes.

Sasori reached down into his pocket and realized the blonde had stolen his cigarettes yet again. "You gave me a blow job just to get my smokes?"

"Not exactly, un." Deidara smiled and walked over to the door. "You liked that Sasori. Admit it, un. Well here's the deal. Give up your death sticks…or no more pleasure for you, un." And before Sasori could even respond, the blonde was out the door.

Sasori stood there, completely dumbfounded. Suddenly he lashed out and knocked over a bucket of chemicals. This round: Deidara 1, Sasori 0.


	9. part 8

If Deidara thought Sasori was going to just roll over and give up his cigarettes, he really was a dumb blonde.

Sasori was in his room, plotting his strategy carefully. The war was not going in his favor, so he had to move quickly, before it was too late.

The blonde had officially switched this war to a battle of wills, and Sasori needed to figure out how to make the blonde cave. On one hand, Deidara had shown need and been the one to directly approach Sasori with that sinful mouth of his (just the thought of it was enough to make Sasori hard), but on the other hand, that little incident had put the Akasuna in the palm of the bomber's hand.

Sasori growled and pulled at his hair. What the hell could he do?! As long as he had this lust for Dei-

He froze, a wicked smile creeping across his face. Ok, plot of evil formed. He rose from his bed and walked to the door. Now to find a certain blonde.

Deidara sighed as he flipped through the channels. Of course there wouldn't be anything on TV. He heard footsteps but didn't bother to look up; it had to be Sasori. The redhead flopped down next to him on the couch. "What's on, brat?"

"Nothing, un." Deidara sighed as he finally settled on watching the news. The TV suddenly went black. "Hmm?" He looked down and saw that Sasori had grabbed the remote and shut off the TV. "Danna, what was that for, un?" Sasori smiled and moved towards the blonde. "Sasori dan-" the red head crashed his lips to the blonde's, silencing the artist.

Deidara automatically returned the kiss, arms moving of their own accord and wrapping around Sasori's neck. _"Ok, I give up. I have no control when he's like this."_ Deidara moved his body closer to Sasori's, rubbing his torso against the Akasuna's. Sasori bit Deidara's lip in a demanding way, all but forcing the blonde to open up.

Deidara let a moan slip out of himself as Sasori's tongue rubbed against his own, tasting the blonde. He felt Sasori's arms wrap around his waist and pull him to his feet, lips still touching his own. They finally pulled apart for air, and Sasori's lips moved to Deidara's ear. "My room," he ordered. Deidara nodded and let Sasori lead him to the bedroom, mind already growing foggy with lust.

As soon as they were inside Sasori pinned Deidara to the wall for another kiss that left the blonde gasping for air. Sasori smirked and moved to the bomber's neck, nipping at the tense flesh as he began undressing the artist.

Deidara's hands began undoing the Akasuna's shirt, fingers shaking with anticipation. As soon as they were both shirtless, Sasori moved them to the bed, pushing Deidara down onto his back and kissing the blonde's collarbone. "Hmm, you taste pretty good Dei-chan…" he bit down, drawing blood and a cry from the sculptor.

Deidara felt his need for Sasori growing with each passing second. _"Shit, when did I get so pathetic?"_ He managed to get his arms working long enough to push Sasori away. "No sex unless you're gonna quit smoking, un."

Sasori frowned and moved back to Deidara's neck. "Persistent about that, aren't we?" He nipped at the blonde's soft flesh, making Deidara gasp and nearly lose his train of thought.

"Danna…ahh….you d-don't get…AH!...anything unless…ooh…you s-stop…" he pushed Sasori away again.

The red head frowned; Deidara was making this more difficult than he'd intended. Still, no matter; he had the blonde right where he wanted him. "Is that so?" Deidara's eyes widened drastically as a hand slipped down into his pants, grasping his hardening member. "But then how are you going to have any fun?" the Akasuna purred, grinned wickedly as he oh-so-slowly began pumping the blonde.

Deidara gritted his teeth as pleasure coursed through his body. _"Resist, dammit!"_

Sasori slowed down, and despite the blonde's best efforts a whine of frustration slipped out of Deidara, making Sasori grin even wider. "Well, Dei-chan?" The blonde didn't trust himself to speak, so he just shook his head.

Sasori frowned. "How about a compromise then?"

Deidara stared at the ceiling, thinking carefully before responding. "One death stick a day, un."

"You're kidding."

"And you don't smoking inside the house, un."

Sasori stared at the blonde like he was crazy. "Why should I?"

Deidara grinned and sat up. "Because you want me, un. It's my body or your smokes, un." He ran his tongue over Sasori's lips teasingly. "Well danna?"

Sasori crashed their lips together, knocking Deidara backwards. "Fine," the red head growled, yanking off Deidara's pants. "But from now on, I fuck you whenever I feel like it. Got it?" He pulled off his own pants before pressing three fingers to Deidara's lips. "Now suck before I change my mind."

Deidara took all three fingers in at once, wrapping his tongue around each one and sucking lightly. Sasori's face flushed at the sight; why did the blonde have to be sot hot?!

He practically ripped his fingers out of Deidara's mouth and moved them down to the blonde's entrance, before poking to digits in. Deidara hissed and arched his back. "Don't be so rough, un."

Sasori merely smirked and added a third finger. "What, the big scary bomber doesn't like a little pain?" he slid his fingers out and thrust in, making Deidara cry out. "I'll go easy on you this time," he said, thrusting in at a different angle.

Deidara screamed at the feeling. "Danna, there, un."

"Hmm? You mean here?"

Sasori began rubbing his fingers over the spot, sending stars across Deidara's vision. "Y-yes, un!"

Deidara felt the fingers leave him and began whining, before he felt Sasori flip him over and grab his hips. "This'll probably hurt," was the only warning Deidara received before Sasori thrust in.

The blonde screamed and the redhead hissed. "Damn, you're tight!" Deidara tried to relax his body, not sure how long Sasori's patience would hold out. Once the pain dissipated enough, he began to fidget. Sasori took this as his cue to move and pulled out before thrusting back in, hands firmly gripping the blonde's slim waist.

Deidara cried out as Sasori began pounding into him. _"How deep can he go in me?"_ He thought about their little incident in the closet and realized he'd asked a dumb question. Sasori hit his sweet spot, sending white hot pleasure through his body. Sasori slid one hand from the blonde's waist and grabbed his cock, pumping him in time with each thrust.

Deidara's body was coming close to that blissful edge, and he knew he couldn't hold it. "DANNA!" he screamed, climaxing in the Akasuna's hand and collapsing limply onto the bed. Sasori felt the blonde's heat tighten around him and came a moment later, a low moan escaping his lips. He fell on top of Deidara, panting for air.

The blonde felt Sasori's breath against his neck before the Akasuna sat up, climbing out of the bed and pulling his boxers on. Deidara watched as Sasori grabbed a cigarette from a pack the bomber had failed to confiscate and opened a side door, stepping outside onto the patio and lighting up. Sasori sat down and sighed, smiling. "You're a damn good fuck."

"Hmmph." Deidara grabbed his clothes and walked to the door. "I'm gonna take a shower, un."

Sasori paused to watch the blonde exit the room. _"How odd; I didn't think he'd be up to walking after that."_ He heard a thump come from the hallway and grinned. "Never mind."


	10. part 9

Konan nervously drummed her fingers on her desk. Sasori and Deidara hadn't shown up for class yet, and she had a feeling that this was the Akasuna's fault. The door to the classroom swung wide open, revealing her worst fears.

"Mr. Akasuna, I see you've finally decided to grace us with your presence," the teacher said, unable to hide all his fear. "Mind telling me why you're carrying Iwa?" Sasori had a bored look on his face with Deidara swung over his shoulder.

"Deidara's legs gave out on him, so I decided to help him to class," Sasori stated nonchalantly, walking to Deidara's desk. He roughly dropped the blonde in his seat, earning a cry of pain and a death glare from Deidara before he sat down.

As soon as the teacher turned around, Konan leaned in to talk to Deidara. "Where the hell were you?!"

"Danna dragged me into the closet, un."

Konan's eyes widened in surprise. "That's the third time today!"

"I know; I was there, un." Deidara winced as he shifted in his seat. "Dammit, danna's trying to wear me out, un. My throat hurts too, un."

"Deidara, just let him have his smokes back."

"NEVER!"

"Iwa, is there something you wish to share with the class?"

"No, un," Deidara answered, sinking down in his seat.

--

"Well well, it looks like someone's in a bit of pain." Deidara groaned as he felt Itachi's arms around his waist. "You know, if I was your boyfriend, I'd be a lot gentler."

"Back off, weasel."

Deidara rolled his eyes as he felt Itachi get ripped away from him. He turned around just in time to watch Sasori repeatedly pound the weasel's head against a locker, speaking and punctuating each word with another hit. "If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times; Deidara is mine." He allowed the dazed Uchiha to take a few steps forward before shoving him roughly down the hall, then down a flight of steps.

"Thanks, danna."

Sasori scooped up the blonde and wordlessly slung him over his shoulder like a sack of rocks. "Don't think I did this out of the goodness of my heart, brat." He walked into the janitor's closet, locking the door behind him.

--

"And the damn weasel won't leave him alone, despite numerous beatings and threats!" Sasori complained, flopping down on the ground of the city dump and sighing.

Kisame shook his head as he continued to tinker with Sasori's motorcycle. "Itachi, huh?" he smiled. "Sounds like you don't like the competition, Sasori."

"What competition?" Sasori said, hmmphing angrily. "Deidara's mine; end of story."

Kisame shook his head and sighed. "What?" Sasori asked.

"You're upset because the blonde won't cave into your needs, and the weasel doesn't want to back down. You're so used to getting whatever you want, this really isn't surprising. And you're taking out all your frustration out on Deidara's ass."

"The brat can take it."

"For how long?" Kisame turned to look at Sasori. "He won't stay if you keep acting like that, you know."

Sasori merely rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

--

"Deidara…." The blonde groaned and slowly opened his eyes. "Un?"

"Wake up. I want sex."

Deidara's eyes traveled to the digital clock in the kitchen, before opening wide. "Danna, it's 3:47 in the morning, un!"

"So?"

"You couldn't have waited a few hours for me to wake up, un?!"

"Apparently not."

Deidara balled his hands into fists before shooting straight up. "OK, THAT'S IT, UN!" he stormed out of the room and into the kitchen, returning a moment later with a pack of cigs. "Here, bastard!" he hurled then at Sasori's head, stomping down the hall.

"Brat, where are you going?"

"I'm tired, so I'm sleeping in your bed, un!" Deidara turned around, glaring daggers at the red head. "I HOPE YOU SMOKE YOURSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE, UN!"

SLAM

Sasori stared at the door, then the cigarettes. He shut his eyes and sighed to himself. "Dammit, the couch hurts my back."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~two weeks later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Deidara, you can't stay mad at me forever."

"…"

"Seriously, it's annoying."

"…"

"Dammit, say something, brat."

"Go to hell, un."

Sasori sighed and rolled his eyes. Deidara had yet to forgive him, and it was hell on earth for both of them.

The red head turned and began walking away. "Whatever, brat."

Deidara clenched his teeth, wanting desperately to run after the redhead and punch his lights out. "It seems your love life could use a little work."

"Itachi, beat it, un." The last thing Deidara wanted was to put up with the Uchiha; honestly, he had enough to deal with just trying to deal with Sasori-

A light bulb went off in Deidara's head, and he smiled. "Itachi, un?"

"Yes?"

--

Sasori was leaning against his bike, waiting for Deidara. He stood up straight when he saw the blonde walk towards him. "You're late, brat."

"You could have just gone home, un. The only reason I came over here was to tell you I didn't need a ride tonight, un."

"Oh really?" Sasori raised a brow. "Want to explain that?"

Deidara grinned sadistically, spinning on his heels to look at the Akasuna once more. "Yeah. I have a date, un."

--

"AND NOW HE'S GOING OUT WITH THAT DAMN UCHIHA AGAIN!" Sasori dugs his fingers into his hair, pulling at the red locks in frustration.

"I warned you this would happen," Kisame stated bluntly, wiping his oily hands off on a rag.

"Shut up unless you're going to help me," Sasori snapped, growling to himself. "He better not try anything on Dei, or so help me…"

"Sasori, have you considered apologizing?"

The Akasuna snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. Deidara started this whole mess. He's the one-"

"SASORI." The Akasuna turned to look at the shark. Kisame rose to his feet, looking the red head in the eye. "Sasori, I've known you longer than anyone. You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, and I want what's best for you. So take my advice; swallow your damn pride and apologize." T

he redhead blinked, thinking, before nodding his head. "All right. But you're gonna help me."

"With pleasure."

--

Deidara and Itachi stood outside the movie theater. Sasori and Kisame watched from a distance, Sasori silently fuming. "Ready?" Kisame asked.

"Yes." Kisame smiled and walked up to the two, waving at Deidara. "Hey, Dei!"

The blonde started at the call, and then smiled when he saw it was only his friend from the dump. "Oh, hey Kisame, un!"

"Dei, can you do me a favor? My car just died, and I need to call a tow truck."

"I don't have a cell phone, un."

"Well can you go and use the theater's phone?"

"Why can't you, un?"

"I gotta stay here and make sure no one steals my car, ok?" Deidara gave him an annoyed look and walked inside the theater.

Phase one complete, the shark turned to Itachi. "Hello."

"Hn."

"Not very chatty, are you?" Kisame leaned in, smiling. "You know, you're pretty cute."

"Back off."

"Sorry, no can do." Kisame rocked back on his heels. "Damn, I was hoping you'd like me back. Well, this makes things more problematic."

"What things?" Itachi asked nervously, making the shark grin.

"Well, I can't allow you to go out with Deidara anymore. So…" Kisame lunged forward and scooped up the Uchiha, slinging him over his shoulder. He turned and quickly walked to his car, throwing the weasel into the back seat and giving Sasori a quick thumbs up before starting the car and driving off.

Deidara walked out of the theater a moment later, after having been told very rudely by the manager that he couldn't use the phone. He looked around the parking lot, trying to find Kisame or Itachi. "Where did they go, un…." Sasori quietly walked up behind the blonde.

"Hey brat."

Deidara nearly jumped out of his skin before turning around to glare at Sasori. "What the hell do you want?!" he hissed.

"I just want to-"

"And where's Itachi?!"

"Deidara, just let me-"

"Oh my god, did you have Kisame kill him, un?!"

"Brat will you please-"

"Dammit, Sasori, you're the most selfish bastard I've ever-"

"I'm sorry."

Deidara blinked and stared, allowing those words to sink in. "Did you just apologize, un?"

"Yes."

Deidara hmmphed and turned away. "And what if I don't feel like accepting your apology, un?"

"I thought you wouldn't. So I brought a peace offering." Deidara watched from his peripheral vision as Sasori pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, extending them to the blonde.

Deidara snatched it away and opened it, frowning. "It's half empty, un."

"You said one a day, right?"

"How do I know you haven't had more, un?"

"Pein and Hidan will vouch for it. And I swear I haven't."

Deidara shot the Akasuna an incredulous look before sighing and handing them back. "Fine, you're forgiven, un. Now can we go home?"

"Ok."

As they walked across the parking lot, a thought crossed Deidara's mind. "Danna, what did you do with Itachi, un?"

"Deidara, the less you know, the less the cops can use against us in court."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~the dump~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I really am sorry about this, but Sasori's like a brother to me. That being said, you'll be here a few days, so let me know if you need anything."

"UNTIE ME!"

Kisame chuckled and shook his head. "Now now, be good or I'll put the gag back on." He smiled as he walked into the living room, leaving the Uchiha tied to a kitchen chair. "Ok, I think a movie's in order. How about Jaws?"

"…"


	11. part 10

"Brat, where's the ramen?"

"Huh? Oh, I ate it all, un."

Sasori walked into the living room, glaring at Deidara as he stood behind the couch. "And you didn't bother telling me on the way home, because that would have been the easy thing to do, right?"

"I just forgot, un!" Deidara cried out.

Sasori grinned wickedly. "Well, guess who gets to go down to the grocery store and buy more?"

"I have to walk don't I, un?"

"You're quite perceptive for a dumb blonde."

--

Deidara sighed as he walked down the dark streets. Sasori really had made him walk to the store, and now he had to carry about twenty packs of ramen back to their house. "I swear I'll kill him one of these days, un."

Deidara heard a noise come from behind him, but when he turned, he couldn't see anything. Cautiously, he turned and began walking again. For a while, everything was calm. He heard a cough and sighed, turning around. "You know, you could be a little less obvious, un."

"Sorry cutie, we didn't want to startle you," a deep voice said as a man stepped out of the shadows.

Deidara counted the men as they surrounded him. Only five, and a few of them looked about his age. He shouldn't have a problem with these low life street thugs. "Look, I'll save you a lot of pain if you'll just leave me alone, un."

"Aww, don't be so antisocial, sweety. It ruins your cuteness."

Deidara narrowed his eyes. "Don't call me cute or sweety. I'm a guy, un."

"Like that matters." The leader took a step forward, and Deidara shifted into a fighting stance.

Suddenly, one of the other stalkers' arms shot out. "Hold up!" he looked closely at Deidara, before his eyes widened in shock. "I knew it; that's Akasuna's bitch!"

"What the-what did you just call me, un?!" Deidara spluttered.

The atmosphere drastically altered, filling with fear. "Are you serious?!"

"Look at him; bombshell figure, blonde, weird speech problem, it all fits!"

"Hold on; I am not Sasori's-"

"Not to mention he's out doing Sasori's shopping. They're shacking up, right?"

"Hey, are you bastards even listening, un?!"

"Dude, Akasuna's gonna kill us if he finds out."

"Why is he even out here? Last time I checked, he couldn't even walk."

"Either Sasori's good, or he's a wimp."

"Ok, you're gonna die now, un," Deidara growled as he cracked his knuckles.

--

Sasori looked up when he heard the door crash open just in time to be hit by a flying bag of ramen. "Ow! Deidara, what the hell-"

"SHUT UP!" Deidara was standing in the doorway, dishelved and fuming. "You're sleeping on the couch, un!" He stomped down the hall to Sasori's room. "AND I AM NOT YOUR BITCH, UN!"

SLAM

Sasori rubbed his face were the ramen had hit him. "Note to self; never send Deidara out for ramen again."

--

"Deidara, I'm going to play cards with Pein and Hidan. You're not to leave the house, understand?"

"Where would I go, un?"

"I don't know, but just to be on the safe side you're not allowed to leave here, understand?" Deidara hmmphed and nodded. Sasori turned and walked out the door, leaving the blonde to fume.

Deidara balled his hands into fists. "Damn that bastard! Going out and leaving me all alone, un!" A realization suddenly hit Deidara.

He was alone in Sasori's house.

A wicked grin spread on his face. Oh, he was going to have fun with this. But what to do? Hmm…going through all of Sasori's stuff seemed like a pretty good idea. He rose from the couch and began wondering throughout the house. Nothing interesting in the living room, bedroom, kitch- hold on. Deidara noticed a cabinet door partially opened. What made this so interesting was that Sasori usually kept this cabinet locked at all times. Curious, he kneeled down and opened it to reveal several glass bottles. Still curious, he pulled one out, opening and sniffing. Cautiously, he took a drink, smacking his lips and turning the label around to read it. "Vodka?" Deidara shrugged and took another drink. "This tastes yummy, un."

--

Sasori pulled out his house key and opened the door, flicking on the light. "I'm home," he called out. No answer.

Hmm? "Brat, are you still here?" He walked into the house, looking around warily in case Deidara had set up some kind of trap. "Brat, hurry up and-"

"HI DANNA!" Deidara stumbled out of the kitchen, giggling and slurring his words. "Guess what, un? I wanna screw, un!" He lunged at Sasori and placed a sloppy kiss on the red head's lips.

Sasori quickly pushed him away and gave him a disapproving look. "You're drunk."

"Nu-uh."

"Brat, I can smell the alcohol on your breath, if your actions weren't enough of a clue." Deidara suddenly swayed, forcing Sasori to catch him. Unfortunately, Sasori lost his footing which sent both of them crashing to the ground with the Akasuna pinned under the bomber. "OW! You little brat!" He squirmed, trying to get out from under Deidara. "I'm going to bed."

"No! Don't leave, un!" Deidara wrapped his arms around Sasori, halting his movements.

Sasori glared down at the blonde. "I don't get it. You cant' stand me, but you don't want me to leave. What is wrong with you?"

"It's not that I can't stand you, un. I just think you're a pain in the ass."

"Lovely. Now explain why I can't leave."

"Because I want to be with you a lot before I have to leave, un."

Sasori raised a brow. "You're leaving?"

"Yup. When you throw me out, un."

The red head smirked. "Sorry, but you're not getting off the hook that easily. I'm not gonna throw you out."

The sad look in Deidara's eyes didn't lift. "Yes you will, un."

"And why is that?" Sasori asked, smirking.

"Because you'll hate me, un."

The smirk fell. "Deidara, I don't hate you."

"But you will. Everyone hates me. My folks did, the kids in my old town did, and I think even Itachi does now, un. You'll hate me soon, and I'll leave. It sucks because I think I'll miss you."

Sasori looked down at the blonde as if seeing him for the first time. "Deidara, I'm not gonna hate you."

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Sasori danna." Sasori couldn't think of anything to say. Neither one of them tried to break the silence for a time.

"Deidara."

"…"

"Deidara."

"…"

"Brat, are you listening?' Sasori looked down and rolled his eyes, sighing inwardly. "No, of course not. You're asleep." His eyes widened and he began to struggle like mad. "GET OFF OF ME!" Eventually he gave up, resigning himself to sleeping under the blonde. "You're going on a diet, brat."

--

Sasori woke up the next morning to the sound of Deidara puking his guts out. He walked down the hall and into the bathroom, flipping on the lights. "Sleep well, brat?"

"Danna, shut off the lights, un!" that was all Deidara managed to get out before he puked again.

Sasori shook his head. "You know, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were a chick with morning sickness."

"That's because you fuck me so much I WOULD be pregnant if I were a girl, un! Now get out if you're not gonna help, un!" Deidara hurled again, and Sasori felt a small stab of pity in his heart. He calmly walked over to the bomber and kneeled beside him. He gently reached out and grabbed the blonde locks, pulling the hair out of the way. Deidara shot him a sideways glance before puking again. "Thanks, un."

"Just stay out of my liquor, brat."


	12. part 11

~~~~~~~~~~~~days pass~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deidara walked into the living room, carrying a bowl of popcorn. He frowned when he saw Sasori on the couch. "Danna, I have the TV, un."

"Obviously not, brat."

Deidara sighed and walked over to the couch, sitting down beside Sasori. "Please, Sasori?"

"What were you going to watch anyway?"

Deidara's eyes lit up in delight. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre, un! I love how the people get trapped and then sliced up, and how ruthless the whole family is, and….danna, are you ok, un?"

Sasori was giving the blonde an odd look and had scooted to the other end of the couch. "Deidara, that's a bit morbid."

"So, un?" Sasori sighed and changed the channel. "Wouldn't you rather watch Saw?"

"Sure!"

~~~~~~~~~several minutes later~~~~~~~~~~

"HAHAHA!" Deidara was cracking up as he watched the movie, creeping Sasori out. "Come on, danna, can't you tell he can obviously reach the switch, un?" Sasori stared at the screen and raised a brow.

"Yes, actually." In minutes both of them were laughing.

Deidara smirked. "Wow, who knew the red demon could laugh, un?"

"No one. And it stays that way, got it?"

"Or what, un?"

"I spray paint 'Dei's my bitch' on the side of the school."

"You really want me to hate you again, un?"

Sasori grinned. "I have nothing to worry about this time. Your ex has been taken care of, and no one else is dumb enough to date you while I'm within a 100 mile radius."

"What did you do to Itachi anyway, un?"

"I told Kisame to handle it."

"Meaning, un?"

"He's out of the way."

"Danna…"

"Shut up."

"No sex for you, un."

~~~~~~~~~~~~at the shark's house~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Here, have some soup." Itachi reluctantly took the miso from his captor, slurping as he sat in the chair he was still tied to. Kisame watched the weasel carefully to make sure he drank it all, before taking the bowl back into the kitchen. He returned a moment later and retied the weasel's hands in front of him. Itachi frowned up at his captor, and Kisame just shook his head. "Sorry, but until I can be sure you won't take off, you're staying tied up." Itachi shot him a pleading look, and Kisame felt his willpower start to cave. "Ok, but if you try to run I'm tying you back up, got it?" The Uchiha nodded and Kisame slowly undid the bindings on the chair, before moving to undo the ones on Itachi's legs. The Uchiha frowned when Kisame stepped away, leaving his hands still tied. "Hey, I'm not stupid," Kisame stated, motioning for the weasel to follow him into the living room.

The shark immediately sat down, the Uchiha sitting next to him. Kisame looked the Uchiha up and down. "Mind telling me why you're so hell bent on going out with Deidara?"

"Because he's mine."

Kisame shook his head. "Doesn't look like it. He's letting Sasori screw him, after all." Itachi started. "What, he never let you do that?" Kisame smirked. "Look, just let him go, ok?"

"If I thought that bastard was any good for him, I would. But he's the kind of guy who'll toss Dei aside as soon as he gets tired of him."

Kisame frowned. "Sasori's a lot of things, Itachi, but heartless isn't one of them. He won't just dump Deidara because he gets bored of him." Itachi didn't reply, and the conversation fell silent.

Kisame sat there, plotting how he wanted to make his next move. "You know, I was kind of surprised when I found out you and Deidara used to date."

Itachi turned and shot him an incredulous look. "Why is that?"

"You just don't strike me as a seme, that's all," Kisame said, shrugging.

"You're saying that since I look like a girl, I must be an uke, right?" Bingo.

Kisame resisted the urge to smirk. The weasel was playing right into his hands. "Can you blame me? You're so cute, you must have had guys all over you back home…"

Itachi rolled his eyes. "I've never let myself be topped."

"Oh really?" The Uchiha noticed that Kisame moved closer as he spoke. "Never?"

"Of course not," Itachi quickly said, shrinking back from the shark. "Why would I want something like _that_?"

Kisame shook his head. "Itachi, if you've never experienced it, how do you know it's so bad?" the weasel had no response. Kisame saw his chance and moved in closer, so there was barely an inch of space separating them. "Why don't you try it with me?" Before Itachi could reply, the shark had crashed their lips together in a kiss.

Itachi quickly broke away, intent on running like hell, but Kisame caught him in another kiss. Itachi's resistance weakened, and by the time he had broken away once more and been trapped in another kiss, his will to escape had crumbled to dust. _"What the hell? This guy's been holding me hostage for nearly a week, then just starts kissing me, and I do nothing! Either I'm desperate, or suffering from an acute case of Stockholm syndrome."_ He barely registered the shark biting his lower lip until the man's tongue was within his mouth.

Itachi immediately began pushing against Kisame's hot tongue, only to lose the battle almost as quickly as it had begun. Kisame began to slowly run his tongue over every inch of the weasel's mouth, savoring the unique flavor and memorizing each nook and cranny. The Uchiha had to suppress a moan, hands reaching up and gripping the sleeves of Kisame's shirt. To his immense surprise, this sensation wasn't unpleasant in the least…in fact, he actually liked it.

Kisame shifted them around and lay Itachi down on the couch, breaking away from the weasel's lips to attack his neck. Itachi couldn't help but cry out as sharp pinpricks of pleasure shot through his body. "See, you do like this," Kisame muttered, hands sliding down Itachi's slim figure. His fingers quickly grasped the hem of the Uchiha's shirt and tugged the article of clothing upwards, pausing only long enough to undo the restraints on Itachi's hands.

Itachi released his death grip on Kisame's shirt long enough to allow the clothing to be removed before moving to undress his captor. Once they were both shirtless, Kisame stared down at the Uchiha and lightly ran his fingers over the smaller man's toned chest, earning a shiver for his action. "I'd say you like this a lot," he muttered thoughtfully, leaning in to give the Uchiha another bruising kiss.

Itachi felt his body heat up as the shark's hands ghosted down his sides, feeling him up. He pulled away and looked up at Kisame, eyes slowly glazing over with suppressed lust. "Kisame…" He whispered, mind beyond forming coherent sentences.

The shark looked down at his captive and felt himself grow hard at the sight. Damn he hadn't intended to rush things, but now…his hands moved to Itachi's pants, grabbing the hem and slowly slipping the remaining clothing off of the weasel. Itachi hissed as the cool air kissed his nether regions, blushing when he saw Kisame running his eyes up and down the Uchiha's slim figure. "You're beautiful, you know that…"

Kisame pulled off his own pants and boxers before pressing his fingers to the Uchiha's lips, ordering him to suck the digits. Itachi quickly opened his mouth and took the fingers in, wrapping his moist tongue around each one as the shark pressed down on the soft muscle, silently ordering the Uchiha to hurry up. Itachi opened and allowed the wet fingers to ghost down his body before entering him roughly, making the weasel cry out. "Too much?" Kisame asked in an almost playful voice. The Uchiha merely glared at him, making Kisame chuckle and move his digits. "Don't worry Ita-chan, I won't break you this time." The weasel's eyes shot open and he cried out, arching his back. "Here?" Kisame asked, repeating his previous motion.

"Yes, right there," Itachi whispered, eyes completely glazed over.

Kisame extracted his fingers and grabbed Itachi's legs, wrapping them around his waist to better position himself. "This will probably hurt you," he muttered. He slammed into the Uchiha, making the teen cry out from the feeling. "You're tight!"

"You're big," Itachi snapped, trying to relax his body and lessen the pain. The shark gave the smaller man a moment more to adjust before he began moving, sliding out and thrusting back in. Itachi let out a strangled scream, arms reaching up to grab the shark's forearms and dig into the blue flesh.

Kisame's pace increased, slamming into the weasel harder and faster than before. The normally quiet Itachi was now moaning and gasping beneath him, the shark's name leaving his lips every now and again. A fiery coil was building up within the Uchiha, and each well-aimed thrust pushed him closer and closer to that blissful edge. Finally, his body reached its limits, and with a cry he climaxed on their stomachs, body going limp. Kisame groaned as he felt the weasel tighten around in and exploded deep within the smaller man.

Itachi forced his body up off the couch and wrapped his arms around the shark's neck, panting heavily. He pressed his lips to Kisame's and pulled the larger man down on top of him, kissing him lovingly. The shark gently pulled away and began playing with the weasel's hair. "Want to be mine?" he asked quietly, eyes traveling over the weasel's face.

"Yes."

"Good. It's getting annoying to tie you up every night." Kisame climbed off the couch and scooped up the Uchiha, Itachi nuzzling into his chest. "Come on. We're going to bed."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~on the other side of town~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Deidara finished gathering up his clothes and shot Sasori a disgruntled look. "I'd still like to know how you got me into bed, un," he growled at the puppet, who was sitting on the patio and leaning against the doorframe as he smoked.

"As I've told you before, you're too easy. Now go to sleep." Deidara hmmphed and walked out of the bedroom, dressing as he walked down the hall to the couch.

As soon as he flopped down on the couch, Deidara's body began to tremble. "Damn, why does he always act like I'm nothing but a sex toy, un?" He clenched his hands into fists and buried his face in a nearby pillow. _"Does he really hate me that much, un? To just use me and toss me away when he's done?" _he buried his face deeper into the pillow. _"And what happens when he doesn't even want that anymore, un?" _

Deidara prayed the pillow was enough to muffle the sobs that escaped his body before he fell asleep.


	13. part 12

"If you say, 'I'm fine, just sore, un,' one more time, I swear I'll kill you."

Deidara mumbled something in response to Sasori's threat and laid his head on the countertop, staring at the wall. Sasori wanted to smack the blonde right then and there; he'd been acting weird for a few days, and it was screwing with Sasori's mind like you wouldn't believe.

The Akasuna sighed and rose to his feet, walked around the table to Deidara and grabbed his arm. "Come on, we have to leave." The bomber nodded and rose to his feet, following the Akasuna out of the house.

As they climbed onto the motorcycle, a thought occurred to Sasori. He smiled as Deidara slipped on his helmet, before putting on his own and taking off.

As they drove down the road, Deidara laid his head against Sasori's chest. In all honesty, he was feeling depressed and just wanted to go back home, crawl onto the couch and sleep for a week. But that would have made Sasori mad, and he'd have to endure a lecture and get dragged to school anyway. He sighed and waited for the red head to pull into the school parking lot and shut off the engine.

Except…it felt like the ride was taking longer then usual. Deidara frowned and looked up. He glanced around and realized he didn't recognize the road they were on, nor any of the buildings in the surrounding area. Pulse quickening, he squeezed Sasori tightly, as if asking what was going on. The Akasuna released one hand to quickly reach up and grab Deidara's in a comforting manner, before returning it to its previous position. Deidara leaned his body against Sasori's again, slightly comforted by the gesture.

It seemed like they had been driving for several hours before the redhead finally left the highway and turned onto a dir road. Sasori slowed down, and about fifteen minutes later the redhead stopped and shut off the bike. Deidara climbed off and stretched his sore limbs, looking around. "Danna, where are we, un?"

"A little ways from where we need to be," Sasori answered, grabbing the bomber's arm. "Come on, we need to go this way."

Unsure of what to do, Deidara allowed himself to be dragged along behind Sasori, still looking around the thick woods. "Danna, where are we going, un?"

Sasori smiled. "You'll see when we get there." Deidara began to get nervous; what was Sasori plotting? Was he going to abandon the blonde in the woods? Rape him? A combination of the two? "We're here." Deidara was snapped out of his thoughts and looked at his surroundings. His cerulean eyes widened.

Sasori had led him into a grassy clearing, surrounding on three sides by trees. On the fourth side, directly in front of them, was a huge waterfall, pouring into a basin that turned into a crystal clear stream further down. "Sasori danna…"

The Akasuna smiled at the blonde's reaction. "Surprised?"

"Where are we, un?"

Sasori turned and gazed at the waterfall, a sad look creeping into his eyes. "My parents used to take me camping here. We'd just take off; they'd call in to work sick, forge a doctor's excuse for me, and we'd come here for a few days to relax. You look like you needed a break, so I decided to bring you out here. You should be pretty happy we even made it out here; I got lost a few times on the way, but at least we made it in the end…" He watched as Deidara began walking around, taking in all the sights. "Hey, are you even listening to me?" Silence was the only answer he got. Apparently not.

He walked up behind the blonde, who had managed to wander over to the stream. "Brat," he began, tapping Deidara on the shoulder.

The blonde had been deep in thought, and started when Sasori touched him. "Danna!" he cried, spinning to look at Sasori. Unfortunately, he managed to get his foot caught on a rock and lost his balance. "ACK!" On reflex his arms shot out to grab the nearest thing, which happened to be the Akasuna. Sasori didn't have enough time to brace himself, and the blonde pulled him down.

SPLASH

Sasori spluttered as he and Deidara surfaced, glaring at the blonde. "Nice going, brat."

The blonde merely giggled and kicked backwards, swimming away from the red head. "Aww, come on danna. It's a perfect day to swim, un."

"Well I'm getting out," Sasori grumbled, turning to climb out and dry off.

Deidara suddenly latched onto him from behind. "Please Sasori danna?" he asked pitifully.

The redhead sighed as his willpower slowly began to cave. "Must I?"

"No." The blonde abruptly pulled away and dove under the water, swimming towards the waterfall and away from Sasori. The Akasuna raised a brow; what had he done now?

Slowly he followed Deidara upstream, staying low in the water and diving beneath the surface whenever the blonde glanced his way. As soon as he was within range, he grabbed the bomber from behind and pulled him under the water, only to surface moments later with said bomber in his arms.

Deidara coughed as he surfaced. "What the hell, un?!" he demanded in an angry tone as he fought against Sasori's iron grasp.

"I dunked you," Sasori said, rolling his eyes at the blonde.

Deidara gave him a flat look. "I thought you didn't want to swim, un."

"I changed my mind."

"You don't have to swim with me if you don't want to, un," Deidara replied quietly, eyes looking away.

Sasori grabbed his chin and forced the bomber to look at him. "That means that I can swim if I want, right?"

"Un."

"Then I'm staying," Sasori finished, kissing the blonde's forehead. Deidara blinked and smiled, pulling away only to be grabbed by Sasori again. "Get out of your clothes, brat, or they won't have time to dry, and you'll be going down the highway at 70 soaking wet." Deidara nodded and pulled off his clothing, tossing it onto the rocks at the edge of the basin. Soon, he and Sasori were swimming around in their boxers, thoroughly enjoying each other's company for the first time in….well, ever.

As the morning turned into afternoon, the two climbed out of the water and walked over to a tree, sitting down in its shade. "Danna?" Deidara began, curled up against Sasori's side with one of the Akasuna's arms draped lazily around him.

"What?"

"Thank you, un."

Sasori looked down at the blonde and smiled, hugging him closer. "No problem, Deidara." He paused, thinking, before reaching down with his free hand and grabbing Deidara's thigh to pull the blonde onto his lap.

"Sasori, un?"

"You know, when you're not acting like a total pain in the ass, you're actually nice to be around." Deidara hmmphed as Sasori smiled down at him. "You know I'm right," he whispered, tucking Deidara's head under his chin.

"You're the one who's always a pain in the ass, un," Deidara growled, resting against Sasori's chest. For a time, all that could be heard was the sound of running water. "Danna, how long are we going to stay here, un?" When he didn't receive an answer, Deidara looked up.

Sasori was asleep.

Deidara was amazed that, for once, he didn't feel like torturing the sleeping Akasuna. He readjusted his position and began to trace patterns on the redhead's chest, smiling to himself. "I guess he can rest for a little while. No point in having a sleepy driver go on the highway, un."


	14. part 13

"Will you quit acting like such a brat?!"

"I'm not a brat, un!"

"Fine, you're just a pain in the ass!"

"Takes one to know one, un!"

Deidara and Sasori were in the living room, fighting. They seemed to be doing that more and more as of late, with the fights lasting longer each time.

"You're an impossible brat," Sasori spat out bitterly as he reached into his pocket and fished out a cigarette and a lighter.

"Hey, you already had a smoke today, un!" Deidara scolded, snatching the cig away and tossing it onto the ground before crushing it under his heel.

"Too bad, I need another!" Sasori snapped, already pulling out another and lighting it.

"Then smoke outside, un!"

"Make me!"

"You're a bastard, un!"

"Well you and your damn smoking rules can go to hell!"

"I'm already there, un!"

Sasori gave an exasperated sigh and walked towards the door. "I'm going to Pein's, brat."

"What, can't even stand to be around me anymore, un?" Deidara asked as a bitter laugh escaped his lips.

"Got that right!"

"Then why not just throw me out, un?!"

"Because I prefer having you on hand to torture 24/7."

"Since you're a hateful asshole with nothing better to do, right, un?"

"Will you just shut the hell up?!"

"Make me!" Deidara called, mocking him.

"Say that again, and I just might," Sasori hissed through clenched teeth.

"I'll believe that when I see it, un," Deidara replied with a roll of his eyes.

Sasori was shaking with rage but managed to open the door. "Do us both a favor, brat, and stay the hell out of my sight!"

SLAM

Deidara stared at the door for several minutes before his mind started working again. "So, you want me out of your sight?" he said quietly. "Fine. Consider it done, un."

--

Sasori sighed as he walked up the walkway to his door. He knew the fight had been his fault, so he owed the brat an apology, much as he hated to admit it. He opened the door, prepared to hear the blonde scold him for being out so late. Hearing nothing, he assumed it was safe to enter the house. "Deidara, I'm so-" he stopped and looked around. No sign of the blonde.

Sasori began walking down the hall, listening for sounds of the artist. There was no way he was repeating his apology, so he was going to find Deidara before he said a word. He frowned as he checked the bathroom, then his bedroom, then the kitchen. No Deidara anywhere.

He flopped down into the chair in the kitchen and rubbed his temples. Great. His worst nightmare was out and about. "Probably went to get pizza or something," he muttered under his breath, when something caught his eye. Or rather, something didn't.

Deidara's "art" had ended up in the clothes dryer a few weeks back, and the resulting explosion completely destroyed it. It had been one of the few things they'd fought over with a good reason for lately, and because of that the clothing had had to be strung through the kitchen on a clothesline, dripping dry.

What had caught the Akasuna's attention was the fact that everything that Deidara had hung up to dry was gone.

"Wait a minute…" he rose to his feet and walked into the living room. He looked around and saw that Deidara's bag and explosives were gone. Panic setting in, he hurriedly walked to his room, looking around. No trace of the blonde.

Deidara was gone.

He grabbed the doorframe with one hand, body trembling. "Dammit…" he turned and ran down the hall, grabbing his keys and helmet. "DAMMIT!"

--

Deidara tossed his bags into the corner of the art room, stretching as he sank down to the floor. "Danna needs a few days away from me, un." He frowned as he looked over his things. "I shouldn't have brought everything, but knowing Sasori, he'd have burned anything I left behind, un."

CRAAAAAAAAAAAACK

Deidara looked out the window. "Great, it's gonna be storming all night, un. And I still have to get dinner." He resigned himself to a soggy fate and left the art room, intent on getting dinner.

--

Sasori sped down the road, cursing the weather under his breath. "Damn, I can't see anything! Deidara, where the hell did you go?" He slowed down just enough to turn the corner, the rain obscuring his vision.

Maybe it was because of the wet weather. Maybe it was his own fault for being distracted. Maybe it was the other driver's fault for driving when he was sleepy. But whatever the reason, Sasori didn't notice the semi truck until it was almost on top of him. "SHIT!" The redhead swerved to avoid the vehicle, feeling it rush by him. The pavement and sharp turn were still enough to throw him off, though. Sasori's eyes widened as his bike began swerving out of control, before giving out and sending them both flying across the pavement.

--

Deidara grumbled a complaint about the weather under his breath, wishing it would hurry up and clear up. He'd had to walk down to the supermarket, only to find out they were closed, leaving him stranded in the cold with no food. As he walked back to the old school, his attention fell on a crowd of people, gathered around an area of the street up ahead. There were flashing lights, and when he got closer, he realized they were ambulance lights. "It's horrible weather for driving, un," he thought. Curious, he walked up to a man and tapped his shoulder. "What happened, un?"

"Some idiot ran a biker off the road," he answered, eyes glued to the scene before him. He suddenly started and pointed. "Look! They got him!"

Deidara looked to where the man was pointing and stopped breathing.

It was Sasori, eyes shut and arm bent at an impossible angle on a stretcher. "DANNA!"

Deidara burst through the crowd and ran up to the paramedics, only to be held back by a police officer. "Ma'am, I need for you to stay back."

"You don't understand, I need to go with him, un!" Deidara cried, pulling at the officer's grip on him. "Sasori danna!"

"Hey, wait a sec." Another officer walked over. "Danna means husband, right?" His gaze fell on the blonde. "Miss, are you two married?"

Deidara didn't even hesitate. "Yes, un."

"Let her on." The officer released Deidara and allowed the blonde to lunge forward and jump into the back of the emergency vehicle, before it took off for the hospital.

--

"Mmmm…" Sasori scrunched up his face and slowly opened his eyes, waiting for the world to come into focus. A steady beeping was starting to bug him, but he pushed that aside for the moment.

"Finally awake, un?"

He turned to the side and saw Deidara sitting beside him, looking haggard but happy. The Akasuna tried to sit up, only to feel a sharp pain in his side and hear the beeping speed up. "Lie down, un," Deidara ordered quietly, pushing down on Sasori's shoulder.

"What happened, Dei?"

"You crashed on the road, un. You're lucky, there's no internal damage, but you broke your right arm and leg and cracked a few ribs too, un."

"So I'm in a hospital?"

"Yeah, they just want you here for a little while to make sure everything's ok, un." Deidara's gaze dropped to the floor. "Oh, and in order to get in here, I told them we were married, un."

"What?!"

"Calm down, un!" Deidara demanded, eyes looking nervously at the beeping heart monitor as he spoke. "If you get too stressed out, I have to leave!" Deidara's voice became soft and quiet. "Danna, why were you out on the road, un?"

"I was looking for you."

"Why, un?"

"Because I wanted to say I'm sorry. That, and I didn't want you to leave."

"…"

"Deidara, if you don't-"

"I hate you."

Sasori started. "What?"

"I hate you, un," Deidara muttered, hands clenched into fists. "I HATE YOU, DANNA!"

Deidara bolted out of the room stopped in the hallway and leaned heavily against a wall, tears coming down his cheeks. "He acts like I'm shit, then apologizes, then yells at me, then acts like he cares about me….damn him for screwing around with my head, un!" The blonde heard and erratic beeping and peered back into the room, eyes widening as he saw Sasori try and get out of the bed. "Danna, I said don't move, un!" Deidara cried, rushing to the red head's good side and pushing him back down.

Sasori took the chance and grabbed Deidara to pull the blonde down onto the bed. "All right, what did I do wrong this time Dei?" Sasori asked.

"Nothing, un!" Deidara yelled, squirming in Sasori's grasp.

"Then why did you yell?"

"Ok, you did everything wrong, un!"

"Then why did you come back, brat?"

Deidara looked up at Sasori, eyes flashing. "THAT is what you did, un! You act like I matter, then you turn around and stab me for no good reason, un!" He tried to push out of Sasori's grasp, wondering why a doctor or nurse hadn't come around yet from all the noise.

"Deidara, please calm down. You're getting yourself worked up over nothing."

"No I'm not!" the bomber screamed. "I hate you, I hate you, I hate you-"

Sasori grabbed Deidara by the back of his neck and crashed their lips together, holding the blonde in place until he stopped squirming and had calmed down a little. "Now listen," Sasori said in a soothing voice to keep Deidara calm. "You don't hate me. You're just pissed as all hell. And knowing you, you're just going to take off and stay in that old school, right?"

"No, un," Deidara answered, lying through his teeth.

"Deidara, just go home." He sighed and kissed the blonde's forehead. "You'll freeze to death in that rundown building, and like it or not, I _am_ worried about that happening to you." Sasori gently pulled the blonde down, wincing as Deidara's arm accidentally reached across his body and brushed his cracked ribs. "I wish I could figure out what I'm supposed to do around you, Deidara," he murmured, his fingers fondly going through the blonde's hair.

"Don't scare me like that, un," Deidara ordered, fingers grasping the fabric of Sasori's shirt. "I almost had a heart attack, un."

"Sorry about that," Sasori replied, arm sliding down the blonde's body and wrapping around his waist. Deidara mumbled something into Sasori's chest, and the redhead shut his eyes as he was forgiven.

--

"Miss, are you still here?" A nurse poked her head into the Akasuna's room. "Miss, visiting hours are over…" she stopped and smiled.

The blonde was lying against the red head, with one of the Akasuna's arms wrapped protectively around their slim frame. Both teens were sound asleep.

The nurse silently crept to the storage closet and pulled out a blanket, and then draped it over the two of them. "I'll get her tomorrow morning, before the others arrive…" Smiling to herself, she left the two to sleep in peace.


	15. part 14

~~~~~~~~~time goes on~~~~~~~~~~~

Sasori shut off the engine to his motorcycle and climbed off the bike, staring at his house. He'd finally gotten his last cast off, and was free to return home.

He frowned as he walked up the walkway to his house. The Akasuna knew he should feel happier about this, but something was preventing him from feeling true joy. That something was Deidara. He'd been hoping the blonde would be with him when he got the last one removed, only to have Deidara tell him he needed to clean the house and couldn't be there.

"If the brat hadn't made such a mess in the first place, he wouldn't have had to clean it up," he grumbled as he grabbed the doorknob and opened the door to his house. "Deidara, I'm home," he called out while looking around for the bomber.

"Hi danna, un." Sasori turned at the sound and looked down the hallway. His eyes widened.

Deidara was leaning against the doorframe of Sasori's bedroom, hair down and dressed in a girl's uniform. He winked and ducked inside the Akasuna's room, the red head quickly following suit.

Sasori smirked as he pinned Deidara to the wall, eagerly looking the blonde up and down. "I thought you hated these things…" he muttered thoughtfully while drinking in the sight.

"I wanted to do something nice for you, un," Deidara purred, moving to close the gap between himself and the redhead.

"Really. Because I think you just want to get fucked, since I've been gone so long," Sasori retorted as he slid his hands down the blonde's sides and squeezed lightly here and there.

"What do you care? It's a win-win situation either way, un," Deidara whispered, his arms wrapping around the red head's neck as he rubbed their bodies together. Sasori crashed their lips together, halting any further conversation.

"Mmmm…" Deidara shut his eyes as he returned the kiss, grip tightening on the Akasuna. He felt Sasori bite his lower lip and opened his mouth, tongue pushing against the redhead's in a battle for dominance. Sasori eventually won and took control of Deidara's mouth, earning several moans from the blonde as he explored the neglected cavern.

When they finally pulled apart, both were panting heavily. "Bed," Sasori ordered, moving Deidara and himself to the mattress.

The blonde fell back onto the bed and stared longingly up at his lover. Sasori immediately climbed on top of him and kissed his uke again, his hands slipping under Deidara's shirt and rubbing the bomber's soft skin. "Danna..."

Sasori grabbed the hem of the shirt and slowly slid the fabric off of Deidara, lips kissing each inch of exposed skin as he went along.

Deidara began squirming beneath the red head. "No fair, un." He reached down and grabbed the bottom of Sasori's shirt, pulling it off his danna and throwing it across the room.

"Better?" Sasori asked with a playful smirk on his face.

"Yes, un." Deidara received a deep kiss for his answer. Sasori pulled away from the kiss and attacked the blonde's neck, leaving fresh love bites on the bare skin. Deidara gasped at the feeling, his fingers traveling to Sasori's hair and grabbing the red locks. "Sasori danna…"

"Yes?" the red head asked calmly, sitting up as he slid Deidara out of the rest of his clothing.

"M-more, un…" the blonde begged, eyes glazing over as the ability to form coherent sentences began to leave him. His fingers reached up and began fumbling with Sasori's pants, hurriedly trying to get them undone.

The redhead allowed the blonde to help him undress, before pressing three fingers against Deidara's lips. "Do I even need to say it?"

Deidara reached up and grabbed the hand. With practiced skill he separated the fingers and took them into his mouth one at a time, wrapping his tongue around each and sucking lightly on the digits. Sasori had to fight the urge to rip his fingers away and fuck the blonde right then and there.

Once Deidara was finally done, Sasori slid the fingers down to the blonde's entrance, capturing the blonde in another kiss as he jabbed two fingers inside of the bomber. Deidara gave a small cry and shut his eyes, making Sasori chuckle. "My my, someone's certainly tight."

"Shut, up, un. If you hadn't gone out and wrecked your bike-" Deidara was cut off by Sasori inserting another finger, stretching him to his limits. Deidara adjusted to the sensation and silently begged Sasori to move, shooting him a pitiful glance. The redhead took pity on the blonde and began thrusting his fingers in and out of Deidara while his lips ravished the bomber's neck. Deidara lay panting beneath him, sweat running down his body. His closed eyes shot open and he screamed when Sasori hit his prostate, his body arching up. "Sasori danna…"

His answer came in the form of Sasori removing his fingers, making Deidara whine and pout. "Shh, I know what you want," Sasori murmured as he spread Deidara's legs further apart and moved himself into position. The blonde grasped the sheets beneath him, trying to relax his body. Sasori thrust in, making Deidara scream and the redhead moan. The blonde shot the Akasuna another pleading look, making the red head pull out and thrust back in. Sasori picked up the pace as Deidara gasped and screamed every time his prostate was hit. "Harder, un," he begged. Sasori obliged and slammed into the bomber over and over again.

He watched as Deidara arched off the bed, his eyes shut and mouth gasping for breath. It was an erotic sight, and nearly enough to make Sasori lose it. He reached down and grasped Deidara's member, pumping the blonde in hopes of making him come first. Deidara's eyes opened and he climaxed in the Akasuna's hand while screaming the red head name. Sasori groaned as he felt Deidara tighten around him and climaxed after a few more desperate thrusts.

Neither artist moved for a moment, too busy trying to catch their breath. Sasori finally collapsed on top of Deidara, pinning the blonde beneath him. The bomber opened his eyes very slowly and stared up at the redhead. "Danna?"

The Akasuna didn't answer at first, so Deidara tried pushing against him. "Sasori, let me up, un."

"Why do you always leave afterwards?"

"Hmm?"

Sasori sighed and propped himself up on his elbows, frowning at the trapped blonde. "You have never once slept in my bed after we've done it. Why is that?"

"I thought you didn't want me to sleep in here, un."

"I never said that."

"You never stopped me from leaving, un."

"I'm not going to fight with you tonight, Dei." Sasori returned to lying down on the blonde's chest, thinking. "In any case, I want you here."

"Danna, what's up with you, un?" Deidara asked as he gave Sasori a weird look.

"I'm trying to figure out what to do with you."

"Give me a nice pair of cement shoes and throw me in the river, un."

Sasori chuckled. "No. As much as I hate to admit it, you make my life hell, but I don't want to live a moment without you."

"So why don't you just marry me, un?"

"…That's not a bad idea."

"I was kidding, un."

"I wasn't." Deidara's eyes widened as Sasori sat up, staring at him with an unreadable expression on his face. "So, will you?"

"Um, well…"

"What?" Sasori asked, smirking. "Is the blonde angel scared to marry the red demon?"

"I have a few conditions, un."

"What kind of conditions?" Sasori asked warily.

"No more smoking. Period."

"Not happening."

"Sasori danna, it's bad for you, and worse for me. Plus, it tastes gross to kiss you after you smoke, un."

"Fine, no more death sticks," Sasori grumbled. "What else?"

"You get us a decent place to live in, un."

"We can move into my grandma's place. I never bothered to sell it after the old bag died."

"Ok, then there's one more thing, un."

"Which is…?"

"You have to get me a ring, un."

"…What?"

"You heard me," Deidara said. He frowned up at the Akasuna as he held one hand in Sasori's face. "If you're gonna marry me, you'd better get me a ring, un."

"All right," Sasori agreed with a smile. He grabbed the hand, brought it close to his face, and gently kissed it. Deidara blushed and Sasori grinned, lying down once more on top of Deidara.

"_Exactly what have I agreed to?"_Deidara thought to himself, staring at the ceiling. He looked down and was surprised to see Sasori asleep on his chest. Smiling, he wrapped one arm around the Akasuna and sat up, grabbing the blanket with one hand and pulling it over the two of them. "Night danna, un." He shut his eyes and allowed sleep to wash over himself. _"This feels so much better than the couch…"_


	16. epilogue

~~~~~~~~~~two months later~~~~~~~~~~~

Sasori dropped the last cardboard box inside the kitchen, heaving a sigh of relief as he brushed the dust off of himself. He and Deidara had finally moved everything inside the house. They still needed to unpack, and it would probably be a month before everything was in its proper place, but he and Deidara were finally moved into their new house.

They hadn't been able to do it entirely on their own, of course. Pein and Konan had been drafted to help box everything up at the old house Hidan had been unable to come and assist them, however. The Jashinist had called the redhead to explain why, (something about a ritual) but the sound of Kakuzu's voice in the background followed by Hidan moaning into the phone had convinced Sasori that whatever "ritual" the zealot was doing now was something the Akasuna didn't need specifics on, and immediately hung up.

The actual moving had involved the help of Kisame and, to everyone's surprise, Itachi. The two of them were actually supposed to help Sasori and Deidara unpack, but after teh blonde caught the duo making out on the kitchen table for the third time, Sasori thought it was best to send them home. Leaving him and Deidara to finish the job.

Sasori walked out of the kitchen and looked around as he went. His grandma had had a pretty nice house; a few bedrooms, two bathrooms, even a second floor. All this space was exactly why Sasori had opted to live in something smaller, since he'd been on his own. But now that he had Deidara, it had become necessary to move in here.

CRASH

The Akasuna let out a soft sigh. They hadn't even been here for a full 24 hours, and already Deidara was destroying the place. "Brat, what was that?"

"Nothing, un!" Deidara called from the upstairs.

"'Nothing' doesn't crash. What fell?"

"The bed frame, un," Deidara said, poking his head down the stairwell. "I tried setting it up, but I dropped part of it, un."

"You and I can set it up later. I just finished bringing in the last boxes, so take a break," Sasori called out, before turning and walking into the living room. He flopped down on the couch and shut his eyes, his head lying on the armrest.

Deidara walked down the stairs and into the living room. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of his danna. "Sleepy, un?" he asked while walking over.

"Just worn out," Sasori muttered, all his attention now focused on the blonde. Deidara sat down on the couch and crawled to Sasori. He lay down on the redhead, his ear pressed to Sasori's heart as he lay between the redhead's legs. Sasori wordlessly wrapped his arms around the blonde and hugged him. "You?"

"Just a little tired, un," Deidara answered as his eyes drooped half shut.

Sasori reached up and began stroking the bomber's hair, grinning to himself as he saw a small smile creep across Deidara's lips. "You happy now?"

"Are you, un?"

"Aside from the nicotine withdrawal and slight aches, yes."

"Good, un."

The two of them remained silent for a while, sitting together as sunlight from the front window filled the room. Sasori looked down at the blonde a while later and saw that he was asleep. The Akasuna paused, thinking about whether he wanted to say anything or not. Finally, he leaned down to whisper into the blonde's ear. "You know, I think I love you."

"Same here, un," Deidara mumbled, eyes still shut. Sasori raised a brow gave the bomber a chaste kiss and lay back. He grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch and pulled it over the two of them, accidentally covering Deidara's head in the process. The blonde groaned and pulled himself up, now tucking his head under the Akasuna's chin. "Sleep…"

"All right, just sleep love," Sasori murmured while pulling his arms out from under the blankets and wrapping them around the bomber. It had become habit for them to sleep together, and it had actually gotten to the point where the bomber couldn't sleep without his danna for a pillow.

Sasori felt his eyelids grow heavy, a pleasant warmth filling his body. Soon, both of the artists were asleep on the couch, the summer sun dancing on their sleeping faces.


End file.
